Paul's Money Can't Buy Heather Love

She goes on the offensive against McCartney and his romances

(NEWSER) - Heather Mills went back on the attack today, turning a televised sitdown on a European morning news program into a bitter rant about her "David versus Goliath" divorce from Paul McCartney and the former Beatle's current romances, the Sun reports. She also copped to dousing his attorney with water in court to "cleanse and baptize" her. More»

Mills-McCartney low on list

(NEWSER) - The $46.8 million settlement Paul McCartney has to shell out to divorce Heather Mills only ranks seventh on the Mirror's list of celebrity divorces:

1. Michael and Juanita Jordan, 2007, $168 million: She filed for divorce once before, in 2002.
2. Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey, 1994, $150 million: He amicably said she was "worth every penny."
3. Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving, 1989, $100 million: She walked away with half his fortune; he walked with an Indiana Jones star.

Think Tiger's paying a lot? He's still not tops

(NEWSER) - Tiger Woods’ reported $750 million divorce payout is big, but not big enough to top the Daily Beast's list of the 10 costliest divorces (it comes in second—a distant second):

• Michael and Diandra Douglas: She walked away with half his fortune—$45 million—and could still get more. She’s suing for half his Wall Street 2 earnings, since it’s related to a movie he made while they were together.
• James Cameron and Linda Hamilton: The $50 million she won in the divorce didn’t stop her from recently telling the Mail, “He was always a jerk.”

(NEWSER) - Holy Monty Python. John Cleese has a whopping $20 million check to write in a California divorce settlement, and he's not happy about it. “What I find so unfair is that if we both died today, her children would get much more than mine," grumbled the 70-year-old star. American psychotherapist Faye Eichelberger, married to Cleese for 16 years, gets $12 million in cash, an apartment in New York, a house in London, and a million bucks a year for seven years, reports the Telegraph. More»

Plus, credit crunch hits Cleese's divorce, and more

(NEWSER) - Uh-oh. Guy Ritchie showed up with a black eye after a night out in London, the Sun reports. No word on where the mystery shiner came from… could this have anything to do with his less-than-flattering nickname for tough ex-wife Madonna? More gossip:

• The recession has hit celebrity divorces. John Cleese successfully halved his $1.9 million settlement after showing that he’s not worth as much as he was in 2007, the Mail reports.