Please don't let us ruin another presidential election, dear Lord. So prays Florida author and columnist Carl Hiaasen, who apologizes to God in advance should the state's voting go awry. "The possibilities are terrifying," he writes in the Miami Herald. "We've got 67 counties, which means 67 chances for shenanigans, careless tabulating or simple machine failure."
Floridians prayed for God's intervention 8 years ago, writes Hiaasen, and "apparently You were preoccupied with more-pressing disasters, and that's OK." But now the state is desperate to atone for putting President Bush in power. It's also weary of "Flori-duh" jokes. So, Lord, if You need to test America again, please throw another state into chaos instead: "God, anywhere but here," pleads Hiaasen. "Amen."