Bush Absent For a Reason, But He's OK

President Bush is lying low on Election Day eve, and even his White House spokeswoman admits his dismal ratings are the cause, Reuters reports. “Everybody would like to be popular,” Dana Perino said today. “We can all remember that back in high school, everyone really wanted to be popular, and some of us just weren’t.” Bush last spoke with John McCain in September, and has not planned events for tomorrow.

Perino said Bush has no qualms about his tenure, and will return to Texas with a clear conscience. “When he goes home,” she said, “President Bush will be able to look in the mirror and know that he was true to his values and true to his principles, and that’s what keeps him going.” Bush will watch the election results at a private White House dinner and “remains hopeful” that John McCain will prevail. (More John McCain stories.)