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Plax, Call Diddy (and Other Tips)

By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff

Posted Dec 2, 2008 1:47 PM CST

(Newser) – Plaxico Burress has a lot to answer for, but he can take some cues from the current economy and hip-hop history, writes Chloe Hilliard in the Village Voice. Almost every aspect of his gun infraction has precedent. Her suggestions:

  • Contact Diddy: The rap impresario has had experience with shooting crimes, and got himself and then-girlfriend JLo off scot-free following a 1999 nightclub incident

  • Cry hip-hop: No self-respecting, bling-wearing baller would go around un-strapped; blame the rap culture for shooting yourself in the leg...
  • ...or blame the recession: The only reason you were carrying was because you couldn't afford lackies, shining a spotlight on the country's economic problems
  • In vino, something fishy: Just one glass of wine can't flatten an NFL receiver, so someone must have put a "shoot yourself" pill in your drink. Right?

New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress is escorted from a police station in handcuffs.
New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress is escorted from a police station in handcuffs.   (AP Photo)
New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress.
New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress.   (AP Photo)
Burress makes a touchdown reception in the fourth quarter against the New England Patriots during the Super Bowl XLII football game.
Burress makes a touchdown reception in the fourth quarter against the New England Patriots during the Super Bowl XLII football game.   (AP Photo)
Burress arrives at Manhattan Supreme Court in handcuffs yesterday.
Burress arrives at Manhattan Supreme Court in handcuffs yesterday.   (AP Photo)
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COMMENTS
Showing 1 of 1 comment
Shannonals
Dec 3, 2008 2:12 AM CST
The Village Voice isn't even worthy to wrap up my fish

More Newser Stories

Burress Pleads Guilty, Gets 2 Years

Burress Indicted, Faces 15 Years

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Two More Guns Uncovered at Plaxico's Home

Teammate to Testify Against Plax


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