Plax, Call Diddy (and Other Tips)
By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff
Posted Dec 2, 2008 1:47 PM CST
New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress is escorted from a police station in handcuffs.   (AP Photo)
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(Newser) – Plaxico Burress has a lot to answer for, but he can take some cues from the current economy and hip-hop history, writes Chloe Hilliard in the Village Voice. Almost every aspect of his gun infraction has precedent. Her suggestions:

  • Contact Diddy: The rap impresario has had experience with shooting crimes, and got himself and then-girlfriend JLo off scot-free following a 1999 nightclub incident

  • Cry hip-hop: No self-respecting, bling-wearing baller would go around un-strapped; blame the rap culture for shooting yourself in the leg...
  • ...or blame the recession: The only reason you were carrying was because you couldn't afford lackies, shining a spotlight on the country's economic problems
  • In vino, something fishy: Just one glass of wine can't flatten an NFL receiver, so someone must have put a "shoot yourself" pill in your drink. Right?