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Swayze: 'I'm Going Through Hell'

By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff

Posted Jan 6, 2009 2:29 PM CST

(Newser) – "Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah, I'm angry. Yeah, I'm all that stuff," Patrick Swayze tells Barbara Walters in a candid interview that airs tomorrow, the first since his pancreatic cancer diagnosis. "I'm going through hell, and I've only just seen the beginning of it." Swayze was determined not only to live but to act, so for 5 months he doubled up chemotherapy with grueling 12-hour days shooting the TV series the Beast.

That meant doing without painkillers. “When you're shooting, you can't do drugs,” he says. “It takes the edge off of your brain.” He missed just a day and a half. But he has some help, not only in the form of his wife of 33 years, but a belief in the afterlife—or at least those who speak to him from the other side. “I've got a lot of guardian warriors sitting on my shoulder, including my dad, saying, ‘You just let Swayze dog know it's been his turn all this time.' And so I'm trying to shut up and let my angels speak to me, and tell me what I'm supposed to do."

Barbara Walters and Patrick Swayze at his California ranch.
Barbara Walters and Patrick Swayze at his California ranch.   (AP Photo/ABC, Ron Tom)
Swayze, Niemi, and Walters.
Swayze, Niemi, and Walters.   (AP Photo/ABC, Ron Tom)
Travis Fimmel, left, and Patrick Swayze in The Beast.
Travis Fimmel, left, and Patrick Swayze in "The Beast."   (AP Photo/A&E, Michael Muller)
Actor Patrick Swayze.
Actor Patrick Swayze.   (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis, file)
Patrick Swayze and his wife Lisa Niemi.
Patrick Swayze and his wife Lisa Niemi.   (AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)
Actor Patrick Swayze watches the Los Angeles Lakers and San Antonio Spurs play in the first half in Game 2 of the NBA Western Conference basketball finals, Friday, May 23, 2008 in Los Angeles.
Actor Patrick Swayze watches the Los Angeles Lakers and San Antonio Spurs play in the first half in Game 2 of the NBA Western Conference basketball finals, Friday, May 23, 2008 in Los Angeles.   (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)
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I have no greater respect for any other human being on this earth like I have for her. Part of me says I couldn't have made it through without her, but, of course, the other part of me says I could have, but not nearly as elegantly.
- Swayze on wife Lisa Niemi

What winning is to me is not giving up. No matter what's thrown at me, I can take it, and I can keep going.
- Patrick Swayze

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COMMENTS
Showing 2 of 2 comments
riffran
Jan 23, 2009 3:57 AM CST
yep...along with a death sentence..statisticly speaking...chemo is some UUUUUGLY sh**
Shannonals
Jan 8, 2009 3:14 AM CST
What is he complaining about? I would undertsand if he were a normal persona having to support himself and his family, all the while trying to pay for his medical needs, but he's loaded, he has the best care possible.

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