A remote Alaska fishing port may have gotten its first taste of celebrity as home of the Deadliest Catch TV show, but the police blotter of Dutch Harbor is gaining a cult following all its own, reports the Los Angeles Times. The recounts of bar fights, eagle attacks, the occasional vampire scare and the like are written up in hilariously understated prose in the Dutch Harbor Fisherman and Unalaska Advertiser.
As readers statewide and even abroad know, the items—written by an 11-year female vet of the force—can verge on poetry: "A herd of hostile horses harassed a cyclist as he was riding his bike near Morris Cove. The complainant positively identified the suspect equine. The responding officer informed the cyclist that the stallions might be gelded soon, with resultant decreased testosterone levels and concomitant displays of aggressive behavior."