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Quirky Alaska Police Blotter Earns Cult Status

Blotter 'poet' chronicles the ways visiting fisherman cause trouble

By Mary Papenfuss, Newser Staff

Posted Feb 6, 2009 2:55 PM CST

(Newser) – A remote Alaska fishing port may have gotten its first taste of celebrity as home of the Deadliest Catch TV show, but the police blotter of Dutch Harbor is gaining a cult following all its own, reports the Los Angeles Times. The recounts of bar fights, eagle attacks, the occasional vampire scare and the like are written up in hilariously understated prose in the Dutch Harbor Fisherman and Unalaska Advertiser.

As readers statewide and even abroad know, the items—written by an 11-year female vet of the force—can verge on poetry: "A herd of hostile horses harassed a cyclist as he was riding his bike near Morris Cove. The complainant positively identified the suspect equine. The responding officer informed the cyclist that the stallions might be gelded soon, with resultant decreased testosterone levels and concomitant displays of aggressive behavior."

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Map locates area of abandoned fishing ship off Dutch Harbor on Unalaska Island.

Dutch Harbor, Alaska, beings thousands of feisty fisherman to its port. They tend to let off steam in the most unusual criminal ways. (Shutterstock)

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The suspect eagle hissed and puffed his chest feathers at the responding officer before flying from the area. - Part of a recent blotter item

Names aren't included in the blotter postings. Still, most residents are able to read between the lines. Who was the woman who phoned the police and said her armchair was trying to kill her?
- Kim Murphy in the LA Times

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Quirky Alaska Police Blotter Earns Cult Status