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RIP: Obits for Our Culture

By Kate Schwartz,  Newser Staff

Posted Feb 7, 2009 5:00 AM CST

(Newser) – Dying is a bit of a buzzkill, but all things must come to an end. AJ Jacobs of Esquire  writes obituaries for music, his manhood, and various other cultural remnants:

  • Romantic Comedy, age 81: On life support long ago—finally dead after someone pitched Kate Hudson a film about a lactose-intolerant woman and a dairy farmer. 
  • My Son's Innocence, 4: Died after a Google search of “Dora” and “explorer” revealed an image of “woman named Dora getting doubly penetrated by two marines."

  • Music, 63,000: Six words—Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience.
  • Ellen Pompeo’s Last Remaining Fat Cell, 38: Grey's Anatomy star being consoled by surviving bones and ligaments.
  • My Masculinity, 39: Wearing the wife's polka-dot breast-feeding pillow around the waist will do it.
To see the full list, click on the link.

File Photo. Shutterstock. Copyright Sakala. Crying boy.
File Photo. Shutterstock. Copyright Sakala. Crying boy.   (http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-19932262-dramatic-photo-of-a-kid-crying.html)
British actor Sacha Baron Cohen, dressed in his character Borat poses for the press near the Eiffel tower in Paris, in this, Oct. 9, 2006, file photo.
British actor Sacha Baron Cohen, dressed in his character "Borat" poses for the press near the Eiffel tower in Paris, in this, Oct. 9, 2006, file photo.   (AP Photo/Christophe Ena, file)
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A little part of me died Sunday when conservative commentator Glenn Beck's novel The Christmas Sweater debuted as number one on The New York Times best-seller list.
- A.J. Jaobs in Esquire

My erection, a tumescence in my pants, died April 9. The cause was the revelation that the really hot twenty-two-year-old advertising assistant on MTV's The Hills Season 2 has chlamydia.
- A.J. Jacobs in Esquire

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