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Let's Go Easy on Octuplet Mom

She may be ridiculous, but her life will be tough enough without ridicule

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Feb 9, 2009 1:18 PM CST

(Newser) – When the McCaughey septuplets were born in 1997, the president called to congratulate the parents, who scored a free car, a free house, and free Pampers for life. When Nadya Suleman gave birth to octuplets, she scored national revulsion, ridicule, and death threats. Nancy Gibbs tries to understand why in Time. Suleman’s case reveals how “personally judgmental we are about decisions that are, under any normal circumstances, none of our business,” she writes.

Suleman says she was looking to make up for something she lacked growing up. “I felt powerless,” she said. And that makes her story sad, Gibbs notes, because having children “may be the most humbling thing we ever do.” Maybe she’s been irresponsible, but we should “call a truce here, and let this woman work out her very challenging circumstances without our vitriol making it any harder.”

Whittier resident Ulyses Guzman holds a sign outside the home of the Suleman family in Whittier, Calif. on Friday, Feb. 6, 2009.
Whittier resident Ulyses Guzman holds a sign outside the home of the Suleman family in Whittier, Calif. on Friday, Feb. 6, 2009.   (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
Whittier resident Ulyses Gutierrez holds a sign that reads No More Babys outside the home of the Suleman family in Whittier, Calif. on Thursday, Feb. 5, 2009.
Whittier resident Ulyses Gutierrez holds a sign that reads "No More Babys" outside the home of the Suleman family in Whittier, Calif. on Thursday, Feb. 5, 2009.   (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
This image provided by NBC shows Nadya Suleman, left, speaking with Ann Curry in New York, Feb. 5, 2009, in Suleman's first interview since giving birth to octuplets last week.
This image provided by NBC shows Nadya Suleman, left, speaking with Ann Curry in New York, Feb. 5, 2009, in Suleman's first interview since giving birth to octuplets last week.   (AP Photo/NBC, Paul Drinkwater)
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The decisions we make about parenting are some of the most personal of our lives; these houses are all made of glass, and I'm not sure how many of us could withstand this level of incoming fire. - Nancy Gibbs

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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 17 comments
nick
Feb 13, 2009 6:10 AM CST
Choose a different cause to rail on. If she broke the law, punish her. If she didn't, then all your bitching accomplishes nothing. Sorry, but that's the way it is. God bless her children,
myvoice
Feb 13, 2009 2:34 AM CST
Laws are based on precedent … there no law preventing a person from having as many kids as they want, yet. However, it seems to me, that if the Dr had morals he would have not agreed to do this. But, it’s not his job to define or interpret the law. What we need is more laws that prevent Dr’s from choosing their wallet over their morality! Alas, how do we do that is also a problem. This is a very complicated issue and no cut and dry answer will solve it.
dolcevita
Feb 11, 2009 3:28 AM CST
Ms. Suleman says she lacked self identity as a kid. So is she feeling any more of an individual now that she is a baby factory? And has bought Michael Jackson's nose? What's next, Pam Anderson's boobs? She already bought Angelina Jolie's lips. Her selfish and vain plastic surgery purchases for herself don't seem to have helped relieve her psychosis. What happens when she realizes these babies don't fill her void and she starts imposing her dysfunctional power over them? It is self-esteem she lacks. She needs to put her energy and determination into getting psychiatric counseling, and childcare help. A person cannot develop a sense of self, or self-worth, if they behave like a desperate collage of people they are NOT. It is a cruel disservice to jeopardize the welfare and self-esteem of one's children by having so many kids that she will not be able to give them the nurturing healthy attention that they need and deserve. Suleman is maladjusted and is burdening others with her desperate attempts to fulfill herself.

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