Seattle Mariners star Ichiro Suzuki says some weird stuff, from reporting conversations with his dog to odd metaphors about bowling. Slate studies the Japanese import's bons mots and suggests that Suzuki may be unused to the American media's unending locker room interviews. Or perhaps, one reporter says, he's trying to call attention away from his ridiculously lucrative contract.
Speaking through a translator, he's described a hot streak as "somewhere between usual and surprising" and said of a road trip, "To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying." Can't argue with that.