'Crazy' LiLo Lookin' for Love on 'eHarmony'

Recently single Lindsay Lohan is “looking for someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. Or, at least, the rest of my probation with,” she says in a video on FunnyOrDie.com, Perez Hilton reports. Aping an eHarmony commercial, LiLo describes herself as “a workaholic, a shopaholic, and, according to the state of California, an alcoholic—as well as a threat to all security guards, if they work at hotels.”

“I’m looking for a compatible mate who likes a night out on the town—as long as he or she is driving, of course—likes ankle monitoring bracelets, and doesn’t have family members quick to issue restraining orders,” she says. “The perfect mate loves long walks on the beach, car chases on the PCH, antiquing, and passing out in Cadillac Escalades.” (More Lindsay Lohan stories.)