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'Crazy' LiLo Lookin' for Love on 'eHarmony'

Faux dating ad cops to "crazy" antics

By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff

Posted Apr 14, 2009 9:54 AM CDT

(Newser) – Recently single Lindsay Lohan is “looking for someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. Or, at least, the rest of my probation with,” she says in a video on FunnyOrDie.com, Perez Hilton reports. Aping an eHarmony commercial, LiLo describes herself as “a workaholic, a shopaholic, and, according to the state of California, an alcoholic—as well as a threat to all security guards, if they work at hotels.”

“I’m looking for a compatible mate who likes a night out on the town—as long as he or she is driving, of course—likes ankle monitoring bracelets, and doesn’t have family members quick to issue restraining orders,” she says. “The perfect mate loves long walks on the beach, car chases on the PCH, antiquing, and passing out in Cadillac Escalades.”

This Oct. 13, 2008 file photo shows actress Lindsay Lohan during an appearance at Henri Bendel's in New York.
This Oct. 13, 2008 file photo shows actress Lindsay Lohan during an appearance at Henri Bendel's in New York.   (AP Photo/Peter Kramer)
Actress Lindsay Lohan arrives at the Diesel xXx party Saturday, Oct. 11, 2008 in the Brooklyn borough of New York.
Actress Lindsay Lohan arrives at the Diesel xXx party Saturday, Oct. 11, 2008 in the Brooklyn borough of New York.   (AP Photo/Gary He)
Lindsay Lohan arrives at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards held at Paramount Pictures Studio Lot on Sunday, Sept. 7, 2008, in Los Angeles.
Lindsay Lohan arrives at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards held at Paramount Pictures Studio Lot on Sunday, Sept. 7, 2008, in Los Angeles.   (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.   (Funnyordie.com)
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.   (funnyordie.com)
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.   (funnyordie.com)
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.
Lindsay Lohan covers virtually every press report on her antics in about a minute and a half in her eHarmony spoof.   (funnyordie.com)
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Lindsay Lohan's "eHarmony" ad.   (LOHANFANORG)

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So if you think you can handle a redhead with a little bit of sass—and by that I mean a redhead that’s crazy—we’ll crash a few parties, a car or two, but at the end of the day, I promise you: I never lose my Google hits. Just my underwear. - Lindsay Lohan

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