Make Boyle the New Brown

Disenchanted Labour supporter Frank Skinner knows how the UK political party can turn things around: Make Susan Boyle the new party leader. Who would replace the Internet sensation on Britain’s Got Talent? Gordon Brown, of course. “The thing is I really want Mr. Brown to be Susan Boyle—not just in a talent contest but all the time,” Skinner writes in the Times of London.

“I want him to be gauche, unsophisticated and uncool, but have a beautiful inner being. That's what I used to think he was like,” he continues. As he lost his faith in the PM, Skinner found Boyle: “The Scottish accent, the eyebrows, the audience's derisive sniggers—it seemed to give me back the loveable Gordon I'd just lost.” Boyle just might be “our only hope” against “a growing national cynicism.” (More Gordon Brown stories.)