Favre and the Rumor That Just Won't Die

She says he wanted her to touch him...

(NEWSER) - Brett Favre apparently really liked those masseuses : A third masseuse (and fourth woman) has come out of the woodwork claiming the ( former? ) NFL quarterback sent her lewd text messages. Stephanie Dusenberry, who worked with the Minnesota Vikings while Favre was with them, tells Deadspin (via, initially, a typo-laden Blackberry message referring to Brett as "Brent") she received the texts last September. She says she contacted police for advice on the situation, but that she was told Favre wasn’t doing anything illegal. More»

Quarterback might really, really, really be done this time

(NEWSER) - Brett Favre is making it official, again: The 41-year-old quarterback has filed retirement paperwork with the NFL, Fox Sports reports. He's unretired more than most people send racy photos to massage therapists, but the third time might just be the charm: Favre has consistently said 2010 would be his last season, and it was certainly his worst. Scandals aside, the QB had 11 touchdowns to 19 interceptions, and ended his consecutive-games streak with a shoulder injury that was followed by a concussion. More»

In fact, let's make him 'double pinky-swear,' writes Jason Gay

(NEWSER) - Enough is enough: It’s time to get Brett Favre’s retirement in writing. In the Wall Street Journal , Jason Gay offers up a sample contract. A few humorous highlights:

• It starts: "I, Brett Lorenzo Favre, do hereby formally declare my official retirement from the National Football League." Gay suggests the contract immediately state that Favre's fingers were not crossed while he wrote his declaration.
• Come spring, he should promise, "I will not send a text message to an ESPN reporter that says, ‘FEELING BTTR THN EVR. THKING COMBACK.’”

Promises, promises...

(NEWSER) - Is this even news anymore? In what’s begun to feel a little like a tradition, Brett Favre announced that he was retiring after his team’s final game of the season last night—and this time, he means it! “I know it’s time, and that’s OK. It is,” Favre said, according to ESPN . “Again, I hold no regrets.” (Really? Not even this ?) More»

But he won't be suspended

(NEWSER) - Roger Goodell fined Brett Favre $50,000 today—but did not suspend him—over the naughty texts he allegedly sent Jenn Sterger, reports Fox Sports . The punishment is for failing to cooperate with the NFL's investigation, not for any actions toward Sterger. Her camp had pressed the league to punish Favre before the season ended, just in case he followed through on his latest promise to retire. More»