This Guy Will Be Selling You Stuff Very Soon

Miami's loss shatters James' reputation

(NEWSER) - Sports columns everywhere are thick with schadenfreude today after LeBron James yet again vanished during the fourth quarter to hand Dallas the NBA title . Here’s what people are saying:

• LeBron is still royalty, but he’s not a king—he’s “an emperor with no clothes,” writes Mark Heisler of the LA Times . “James came out firing and making … then faded into the mists.” The Mavericks have exposed him, and everyone will keep him out of the lane from now on.

Meanwhile Dan Gilbert rejoices over Mavericks win

(NEWSER) - LeBron James gave his detractors a whole new reason to hate him in his post-game press conference last night, essentially telling them that he’d rather have his life than theirs. “At the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail … they gotta wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today,” he said. “They got the same personal problems that they had today. And I’m gonna continue to live the way I wanna live.” More»

Drops the news in online video

(NEWSER) - Shaquille O’Neal is ending his Hall of Fame NBA career—not that he’s told the Celtics. The Big Diesel/Shamrock announced his retirement in a brief video posted online today. “We did it. Nineteen years, baby,” he said. “I want to thank you very much, that’s why I’m telling you first, I’m about to retire.” When ESPN asked why he’d announced it that way, he replied, “Once a businessman, always a businessman. I am the emperor of the social media network.” More»

Obama's jock-a-riffic weekend riles Dana Milbank

(NEWSER) - The only difference between the boys and the presidents is the scale of their jockalicious birthday weekends, and Barack Obama just threw himself a doozy, a predictably cranky Dana Milbank writes for the Washington Post. The president kicked it off with a round of golf with the boys, kept the ball rolling with some barbecue and hoops with NBA luminaries , then first thing yesterday welcomed the Super Bowl champ New Orleans Saints. More»

'Marketing giant' heads to sports-mad Boston

(NEWSER) - Shaquille O'Neal will be paid the veteran minimum as a Celtic , but he probably won't have to worry about making ends meet—Boston businesses are already lining up to pitch endorsement deals, reports the Herald . "The minute I heard about him coming, I thought about the idea," says the owner of the serendipitously named Summer Shack restaurants. "It’s a great fit and a great idea." More»