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Fireworks? Bah, Humbug!

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Jul 2, 2009 1:46 PM CDT

(Newser) – Looking forward to the Fourth of July fireworks? You’re probably a moron, writes Troy Patterson of Slate. Look, it’s fine if you want to use a Roman candle at the family cookout: “Doing dangerous stuff in your cousin’s backyard is an important element of American culture.” But pro fireworks are “an exercise in pomposity, aggression triumphalism and hubris,” Patterson writes. They're “meaningless nonsense.”

The people hooting at fireworks displays “are the same sort who lined up at bear-baiting pits back in the day and, in modern times, watch Howie Mandel reality shows.” Yes, light and fire can be cool. But it’s always more fun when stuff explodes. Fireworks don’t have that drama. “There is violence, but there is not sex.”

In this Wednesday, June 24, 2009, file photo, the Target Fireworks display lights the sky over downtown Detroit.
In this Wednesday, June 24, 2009, file photo, the Target Fireworks display lights the sky over downtown Detroit.   (AP Photo/The Detroit News, Elizabeth Conley)
The Detroit Princess Riverboat is seen during the 51st annual Target Fireworks along the Detroit River, Wednesday June 24, 2009, in Detroit.
The Detroit Princess Riverboat is seen during the 51st annual Target Fireworks along the Detroit River, Wednesday June 24, 2009, in Detroit.   (AP Photo/The Detroit News / Steve Perez)
Fireworks explode over the Kremlin, with St. Basil's cathedral, center, marking the Day of Russia in Moscow, Russia, Friday, June 12, 2009.
Fireworks explode over the Kremlin, with St. Basil's cathedral, center, marking the Day of Russia in Moscow, Russia, Friday, June 12, 2009.   (AP Photo/Sergey Ponomarev)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 12 comments
Riffran
Jul 3, 2009 10:06 AM CDT
I went and read the full thing and the replies to the aforementioned douche'.on the slate...they were not very comforting...lol
Riffran
Jul 3, 2009 9:38 AM CDT
what a fricken douche..probably the same type that got his butt whipped at dodgeball in school, and wears pastel colors and an ascot.......and joined something like the society for the preservation of the common grasshopper....cause they have feelings... too.....lmao...."your not a eunich are you?"....
schmidtkoff
Jul 3, 2009 4:21 AM CDT
laser shows are are the best. watched one once in roch. ny overlooking the genesee river. great stuff.
 

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