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Most Unsexy Beautiful People

By C. Raymond Hidalgo,  Newser User

Posted Jul 8, 2009 11:37 AM CDT
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(Newser) – Nerve’s list of the sexiest ugly people demands a counterpart, and here it is: The most unsexy beautiful people—those who may have symmetry and cheekbones—but no sex appeal.

  1. Nicole Kidman: She’s like a Barbie. Who's 40. And Botoxed. And lifeless.
  2. Tom Cruise: He was a bonafide heartthrob until he started spouting Scientology.

  1. Gwyneth Paltrow: She lost her sexy by picking roles in Bounce, marrying into Coldplay, and dooming her children with the names Apple and Moses.
  2. Jennifer Aniston: She’s America’s girl next door...the plain one.
  3. The Jonas Brothers: These boys are all gloss, shellacked over a bland core.
  4. Jessica Alba: Talent is sexy, and she showed zilch in The Eye and The Love Guru.
  5. Leonardo DiCaprio: His eternal babyface and wimpy mustaches are a sex-kill.
Click the link below for the entire list

Nicole Kidman attends an Australia photocall in Rome, Italy. Blonde bombshell or Botoxed Barbie?
Nicole Kidman attends an "Australia" photocall in Rome, Italy. Blonde bombshell or Botoxed Barbie?   (Getty Images)
Actress Jennifer Aniston is wholesome and modest. But that is not sexy.
Actress Jennifer Aniston is "wholesome and modest." But that is not sexy.   (AP Photo/Ina Fassbender, Pool)
Tom Cruise attends a Lakers-Nuggets game in Los Angeles. Maverick was a stud -- until he opened his mouth and started spewing Scientology.
Tom Cruise attends a Lakers-Nuggets game in Los Angeles. Maverick was a stud -- until he opened his mouth and started spewing Scientology.   (Getty Images)
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow arrives for a party in New York City. Naming your kid Apple is not sexy. It's weird.
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow arrives for a party in New York City. Naming your kid Apple is not sexy. It's weird.   (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)
Musician Kevin Jonas of the music group The Jonas Brothers appears on Today in New York City. Why so serious?
Musician Kevin Jonas of the music group The Jonas Brothers appears on "Today" in New York City. Why so serious?   (AP Photo/Peter Kramer)
Jessica Alba arrives at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala, perhaps in search of talent.
Jessica Alba arrives at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala, perhaps in search of talent.   (AP Photo/Peter Kramer)
Actor Leonardo DiCaprio, complete with wimpy 'stache.
Actor Leonardo DiCaprio, complete with wimpy 'stache.   (AP Photo/Dan Steinberg)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 15 comments
Observer
Jul 9, 2009 12:39 PM CDT
Spot on! Kidman and Anniston are boring fakes. Add Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. He's a girl and she's a guy. (check in their pants) Oh yes add - Sarah Jessica Parker - she makes me lose my woody.
Pragmaticrealism
Jul 9, 2009 5:17 AM CDT
good article, especially about the JONAS freaks
armywife
Jul 9, 2009 4:45 AM CDT
i second paris hilton as #1 least sexy person. i put angelina jolie as #2.

 
Nicole Kidman • Leonardo DiCaprio • Tom Cruise • list • Jennifer Aniston • Gwyneth Paltrow • Jessica Alba • Jonas Brothers • Beauty • sexy • unsexy

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