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Forget Chastity: Marry Earlier, Say Evangelicals

By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff

Posted Aug 10, 2009 6:47 PM CDT
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(Newser) – The evangelical stress on abstinence until marriage is fantastic, writes Mark Regnerus—himself devout—in Christianity Today, "but promoting it has come at a cost." Doing so has "turned our attention away from the damage that Americans are doing to the institution of marriage by discouraging it and delaying it," Regnerus writes. We tell our children to work toward a career, be independent, and battle their sexual urges, "when in fact we are battling them far longer than we were meant to. How did we misdiagnose this?"

“When people wait until their mid-to-late 20s to marry, it is unreasonable to expect them to refrain from sex,” Regnerus writes, and it's a message that's spreading to the broader evangelical community. Though many hurdles can face young couples, "the data suggests that marriages that commence in the early 20s are not as risky as conventional wisdom claims," he notes. The institution is so helpful and central to the faith that congregations, instead of discouraging marrying young, should let kids “know that it's possible for two fellow believers to stay happy together for a lifetime.”

Newlyweds.
Newlyweds.   (Shutterstock)
Andrew Chapin of New York holds a sign during a rally outside the Capitol in Albany, N.Y.
Andrew Chapin of New York holds a sign during a rally outside the Capitol in Albany, N.Y.   (AP Photo)
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This cultural predilection toward punishing rather than blessing marriage must go, and congregations and churchgoers can help by dropping their own punitive positions toward family members.
- Mark Regnerus

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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 28 comments
Jes
Aug 14, 2009 3:12 AM CDT
My parents married when my mom was 19 and my dad was 21. My mom still had braces on and couldn't legally participate in the toast at her own wedding. They are both happily divorced from each other, are friendly but could never be friends because they are just two very different people. You don't know who you are at 21 (coming from a 21 year old), let alone who you'll be for the rest of your life.
BlahBlahBlah
Aug 12, 2009 3:59 AM CDT
When you boil it all down to the basics of human nature there is one obvious fact. Humans where not ever intended to be with only one partner. Marriage is an institution, a big, money making, sprawling institution. Women love the idea of "real love". I truly believe there is such a thing called love. I have loved many and still love them all in some manner. It is an emotion that serves to keep two compatible persons together long enough to procreate. True love, love at first sight, blah, blah, blah. There is first physical attraction then sex and if you are compatible enough some sort of emotional connection.
BlahBlahBlah
Aug 12, 2009 3:49 AM CDT
Good points all around. Promote safe sex and sexual education. Use a little less faith and a little more logic.

 
marriage • church • Christians • evangelicals • abstinence • young males • Mark Regnerus

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