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Ya-Ya Sisterhoods Stab You in the Back

Author discusses the trials of adult female friendship

By Matt Cantor,  Newser Staff

Posted Aug 26, 2009 2:09 PM CDT

(Newser) – According to today’s “Sex and the City ethos,” friends are there when romance falters. But in truth, female friendships “are just as complicated as marriages,” author Lucinda Rosenfeld tells Salon. That’s particularly true when it comes to envy, a theme of Rosenfeld’s new novel, I’m So Happy for You. We want to share our friends’ joy, but often can’t—and telling a friend you’re jealous can be “mortifying,” says Rosenfeld.

Writing her novel, Rosenfeld says she “was interested in the way that sparring female friendships, which people usually associate with grade school, seem to continue into women’s adulthood.” There’s the “weird power struggle to be someone’s best friend,” the self-deprecation, and the friendship breakups that can be just as “devastating” as the end of a romance. Real life isn’t "backstabbing" Gossip Girl—but it’s not Sex and the City either, writes Sarah Hepola.

This undated photo released by New Line Cinema shows a scene from Sex and the City: the Movie.
This undated photo released by New Line Cinema shows a scene from "Sex and the City: the Movie."   (AP Photo/Craig Blankenhorn, New Line Cinema)
The cover of Rosenfeld's book.
The cover of Rosenfeld's book.   (Amazon.com)
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This is my attempt to pull the lid on the cliché of sisterhood. - Lucinda Rosenfeld

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COMMENTS
Showing 2 of 2 comments
Mad
Aug 27, 2009 3:32 AM CDT
Sad, but true, woman seem to be their own worse enemies
fancygapva
Aug 27, 2009 3:28 AM CDT
What kind of BS is this? I have women friends of 30 years duration. In three cases there were "break-ups" that were temporary lasting from a few months to a few years. They mostly happened during simultaneious menopause. They healed. I can't imagine a richer relationship than those between women friends, often single women friends, watching their children and grand-children grow up together. Sharing dramas of youth and the pursuits of middle and old age--in my case, such things as art, gardening, family, including the caregiving and passing of older relatives, shared friendships and their loss. What do you people think that life is about if not these intimate relationships that may not involve sex at all? We lost or destroyed the extended family during the 20ty century. But it's wired in, folks. Humans are socal and tribal. If we're going to betray each-other there is little hope for the surivival of the human race.

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