Snappy newsletters. Simple Facebook sharing. Spirited comments. Sweet features are waiting… GET THEM NOW!

Hot on Facebook
Uproar After NC State Agent 'Fixes' Girl's Lunch Preschooler has to eat chicken nuggets instead of mom's meal »

How to Tell If You're a WASP

By Nick McMaster,  Newser Staff

Posted Sep 21, 2009 4:16 PM CDT

(Newser) – Being a WASP is a lot more than being just white, Anglo-Saxon, and Protestant. Author Tad Friend expounds at length on the criteria for true WASP-hood in his upcoming book Cheerful Money: Me, My Family, and the Last Days of WASP Splendor. Vogue offers the highlights:

  • Your refrigerator "contains only marmalade, wilted scallions, out-of-season grapes, seltzer, expired dairy products, and vodka."
  • You have a long and unwieldy full name but go by a nickname like "Bootsy" or "Scrote".

  • As a kid, "you wore Lacoste shirts in a vibrant effusion of pinks, yellows, and greens"; now you favor "dull, molting colors of khaki and battleship gray, and tweeds."
  • Your chosen sport "typically requires a large or intricately carpentered space unusable for any other purpose, expensive equipment, and a willingness to endure cold and/or discomfort."
  • "You own a sporting-breed dog, named after a strong liquor."

In this book cover image released by Little, Brown & Company, Cheerful Money: Me, My Family, and the Last Days of WASP Splendor  by Tad Friend, is shown.
In this book cover image released by Little, Brown & Company, "Cheerful Money: Me, My Family, and the Last Days of WASP Splendor" by Tad Friend, is shown.   (AP Photo/Little, Brown & Company)
The Lacoste 2008 spring/summer collection is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday, Sept. 8, 2007.
The Lacoste 2008 spring/summer collection is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday, Sept. 8, 2007.   (AP Photo/Diane Bondareff)
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday Sept. 6, 2008.
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday Sept. 6, 2008.   (AP Photo/Richard Drew)
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Satrurday Sept. 6, 2008.
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Satrurday Sept. 6, 2008.   (AP Photo/Richard Drew)
« Prev« Prev | Next »Next » Slideshow
To report an error on this story, notify our editors.
A snapshot of the day's best news stories.
 
COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 24 comments
mockingbird
Sep 22, 2009 12:42 PM CDT
Beh. There're plenty of whities who aren't WASPies ;D Most of us (if you take the time to get to know us rather than toss about generalizations) are happily mutts of one sort or another.
dearlizzie
Sep 22, 2009 12:21 PM CDT
The one true test of a WASP is whether they use "summer" as a verb -- as in, mumsy & Binky summer on Nantucket.
dearlizzie
Sep 22, 2009 12:19 PM CDT
Oddly enough it's not the WASPS, even the ones who lost their cheerful money generations ago and cling only to breeding, who decry immigration or yell & scream at town halls to give them back "their" America "back."

NEWS FROM OUR PARTNERS
Other Sites We Like:   24/7 Wall St.   |   Betty Confidential   |   BuzzFeed   |   Cracked   |   Fark   |   Timelines   |   The Frisky   |   Geek Sugar   |   NewsOne