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MONDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2009
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25

How to Tell If You're a WASP

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(Newser) – Being a WASP is a lot more than being just white, Anglo-Saxon, and Protestant. Author Tad Friend expounds at length on the criteria for true WASP-hood in his upcoming book Cheerful Money: Me, My Family, and the Last Days of WASP Splendor. Vogue offers the highlights:

  • Your refrigerator "contains only marmalade, wilted scallions, out-of-season grapes, seltzer, expired dairy products, and vodka."
  • You have a long and unwieldy full name but go by a nickname like "Bootsy" or "Scrote".

  • As a kid, "you wore Lacoste shirts in a vibrant effusion of pinks, yellows, and greens"; now you favor "dull, molting colors of khaki and battleship gray, and tweeds."
  • Your chosen sport "typically requires a large or intricately carpentered space unusable for any other purpose, expensive equipment, and a willingness to endure cold and/or discomfort."
  • "You own a sporting-breed dog, named after a strong liquor."

In this book cover image released by Little, Brown & Company,
In this book cover image released by Little, Brown & Company, "Cheerful Money: Me, My Family, and the Last Days of WASP Splendor" by Tad Friend, is shown.   (AP Photo/Little, Brown & Company)
The Lacoste 2008 spring/summer collection is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday, Sept. 8, 2007.
The Lacoste 2008 spring/summer collection is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday, Sept. 8, 2007.   (AP Photo/Diane Bondareff)
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday Sept. 6, 2008.
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Saturday Sept. 6, 2008.   (AP Photo/Richard Drew)
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Satrurday Sept. 6, 2008.
The spring 2009 collection of Lacoste is modeled during Fashion Week in New York, Satrurday Sept. 6, 2008.   (AP Photo/Richard Drew)
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25 comments
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Netstorm2k9
Sep 21, 09 4:27 PM CDT
Well that's all stupid. It's amazing how regional-centric some people are. The world is bigger than the east coast. Reply
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+2
IN RESPONSE:
dearlizzie
Sep 21, 09 7:17 PM CDT
Plenty of WASPS and Social Register members in Cleveland, Michigan & Ft. Worth.
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+1
Derni
Sep 21, 09 4:30 PM CDT
This will not be a good read for the younger members of the USA -the only waasp they know of should be killed with a newspaper -magazine or spray can of poison-a thing of the past-welcomje to the melting pot -true it is kept alive by the few remaining east coast states -masons and other minoirities. Reply
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0
IN RESPONSE:
Deebles
Sep 22, 09 3:52 AM CDT
WASP--white anglo-saxon protestant. No one is a protestant anymore, they are all christians--except for Wasps who as I said are all Episcopalian and use the Common Book of Prayer. More English than American. As Mary says what is a venal sin for an Episcopalian? To use the wrong fork for the fish. They make all these jokes and stories about themselves because they don't care what anyone thinks. Because they own your ass. They own every cargo container, every paper mill, every everything that you use every day. They don't own Defense Contracting Companies--that is new money. But they own all of Coca-Cola and the rail line and train cars that bring it to you. See, old money owns the bedrock. New money owns the investment houses and the missiles and the insurance companies.
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-1
RobN
Sep 21, 09 5:08 PM CDT
Aren't we like 30 years past thinking that making fun of people nicknamed Bootsy is clever? This doesn't seem particularly original. I believe Animal House took care of this genre in 1978. Reply
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+4

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