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A Dummy’s Guide to Cheating

Avoid being like Steve Phillips by avoiding chicks like Brooke Hundley

By Kate Schwartz, Newser Staff

Posted Oct 22, 2009 5:05 PM CDT

(Newser) – Steve Phillips had it coming, big time. Here's what happens when you get horizontal with a crazy chick, writes Mandy Stadtmiller for the New York Post: They always blab about the affair. To the would-be Steve Phillips of the world, she advises that you pick a woman who:

Doesn't think you're all that. Make sure she doesn't have that glazed, dreaming-of-our-2.5-kids look in her eyes.
Has a career. Ideally, that means she banks $50,000-plus, and keeps her focus on work—except in bed.

Isn't a texter. Open that door and you're in trouble.
Has a boyfriend, or, better yet, is married. Self explanatory.
Can keep a secret. Reveal that you're the worst at keeping secrets; if she says "me, too!" move on.
Considers you just one more notch in the belt. Better to end up with a disease than a messy divorce.
Is not 22. Repeat, not 22 years old, and just dying to fall crazy in love.
Loves ground rules. Especially the ground rule, "This is purely physical."

[Images (4)]

[Quotes (1)]

Don't look so stunned, Steve Phillips. Sorry, dude, but you asked for it. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

Don't be like Steve Phillip. (YouTube screenshot)

Avoid 22-year-olds, first of all. (YouTube)

Get with someone like Brooke Hundley and you're blowing it. (YouTube)

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Crazy chicks are going to keep the dress. They’re going to obsess over the details of your private life. They’re going to take every text message as a secret sign that you’re planning exactly the right deserted island upon which to propose.
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Brooke Hundley: Steve Phillips Is No Sex Addict

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(NEWSER) - Just as scandalized former ESPN analyst Steve Phillips is coming out of the woodwork to talk about his sex addiction, ex-galpal Brooke Hundley is claiming the whole thing is bogus. "The only thing he's ever been addicted to is feeding his own ego," she writes on Facebook. "A true sex addict has an unrelenting need to get sex anywhere and rack up multiple people"—as opposed to Phillips who, apparently, engaged in only one affair at a time. Read a screen grab here . More»

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(NEWSER) - Steve Phillips and his fellow celebrity sex addicts prove "all that's required to claim that a man's transgression is really a disease over which he is powerless is a large bank account, a small degree of fame, a clueless wife. And a straight face," writes Andrea Peyser in the New York Post. And the punishment is more like a prize: "Residential sex-addiction treatment. Sounds like a great way to meet horny chicks." More»

ESPN Axes Phillips' Galpal, Too

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(NEWSER) - A day after ESPN fired baseball analyst Steve Phillips in the wake of his affair with a production assistant, the channel has cut Brooke Hundley loose, too. And that’s not all, Phillips agent tells the New York Post: Phillips, 46, is seeking treatment for sex addiction, and it’s not the first time. He sought help in 1998 after multiple affairs, “but the problem is, he fell off the wagon.” More»

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(NEWSER) - Less than a week after the revelation of his affair with a production assistant, ESPN has fired baseball analyst Steve Phillips. "His ability to be an effective representative for ESPN has been significantly and irreparably damaged, and it became evident it was time to part ways," the network said in a statement. Phillips, 46 and married, had been on leave since Wednesday, shortly after his dalliance with 22-year-old Brooke Hundley became public knowledge. More»

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A Dummy’s Guide to Cheating