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The Mommy Industry Is Killing Moms

Selling advice to parents is just adding stress

By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff

Posted Oct 27, 2009 12:00 PM CDT
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(Newser) – Thanks to offhand comments from her son ("You're a mean mom!") and underhanded comments from other parents ("Your son's very competitive!"), Karen Houppert wakes up at 2:30am every day, wrestling with self-doubt. The newest parenting trend—family coaches to perfect your child-raising skills—joins the already $2.1 trillion "mommy market" of advice and enrichment for sale. "And what if you resist such costly 'enrichment' for junior?" she writes for Salon. Answer? "Bad mommy!"

"All these well-intentioned tips just stoke my anxiety," she continues. But maybe they're not-so-well-intentioned: Harried parents are lured in with "a few strategically placed buzzwords" and offered bogus quick fixes. Your own kid starts to look like a failure—your failure. Finally, Houppert decides to give her 11-year-old a break. "The future doesn't worry him a bit. I try to resist the temptation to mold his plastic mind in preparation for successful living when he is already happily living the good life right now."

The $2.1 trillion mommy market just stresses many women out.
The $2.1 trillion "mommy market" just stresses many women out.   (©Gramody)
The $2.1 trillion mommy market just stresses many women out.
The $2.1 trillion "mommy market" just stresses many women out.   (©banspy)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 14 comments
Count-Spatula
Oct 29, 2009 9:08 AM CDT
Get a grip Mary. Your "little genius" will be a flawed human being like everyone else.
cochiserocks
Oct 28, 2009 10:19 AM CDT
yeah I agree - to get that figure I reckon they've put together paediatricians, child-psychologists, tutors, counsellors, in fact anyone doing anything with kids - and while there is a lot of crap out there - there's also a problem in the UK with parents who try and 'outsource' everything - au-pairs are left mothering as mummy continues with her pre-baby life resenting any real infringement on her time - Now that's some stupidity right there! I agree with Toon too though, that there is so much stuff out there now, mum's who are constantly expanding their own knowledge about food, health, learning, etc... have more involvement as a result of their interest.
fancygapva
Oct 28, 2009 4:24 AM CDT
I'm a psychologist and have worked with parents and families of typical children in the past. My advice. Find your own parenting style. You can't possibly be consistent with advice that doesn't match your instincts. Consistency and not being manipulated through guilt (i.e.,you're a mean mommy), being true to your own values and beliefs is the best you can offer your children. If you spank, do it consistently for particular behaviors, not because you have a headache, if you reason, be reasonable, if you use time out, use it consistently, etc. Working with atypical children is a bit more of a technical endeavor and the advice isn't the same. but parental guilt and inconsistency are the most damaging ways to raise a child.

 
motherhood • parenting • parents • mothers

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