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Gentlemen Prefer Zombies

Vampires are sensitive wimps

By Mary Papenfuss,  Newser Staff

Posted Oct 28, 2009 3:39 AM CDT

(Newser) – Give a guy a good, old-fashioned zombie any day over a vampire. "Dudes don't dig bloodsuckers because vampires pretty much look like girls," writes John DeVore in The Frisky. "We prefer zombies, because we love chainsaws, flamethrowers, and samurai swords." But primarily, guys realize their "genetic imperative is to defend our loved ones from hordes of unthinking, flesh-eating metaphors for current social anxieties." DeVore notes.

Vampires, he scoffs, "are the monster movie equivalent of that sensitive man-sponge in college who plays acoustic guitar in order to seduce chicks." Yet, Devore himself is a fan of the super popular vampire series True Blood. Why? "I fully accept that there's a part of me that will always be a pear-shaped teenage goth girl." he concedes. "Also: because all the women are hot."

So zombie.
So zombie.   (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)
Are zombie women as hot as vampire women?
Are zombie women as hot as vampire women?   (Getty Images)
Guys love chainsaws, flamethrowers and samurai swords that come with zombie flicks, write John DeVore in The Frisky.
Guys love chainsaws, flamethrowers and samurai swords that come with zombie flicks, write John DeVore in The Frisky.   (Getty Images)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 4 comments
texasaurus
Oct 28, 2009 11:44 AM CDT
Zombies are great. America is full of them! From Bob Hope: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
yummines
Oct 28, 2009 11:37 AM CDT
the funny part about this is that the original type of vampire from Bram Stoker's Dracula was pretty much a zombie. they get bit, die, then are resurrected and search for blood (rather than brains). how did vampires change from practically zombies to metrosexual?
NxBigmouthery
Oct 28, 2009 11:05 AM CDT
Once again these pop-culture non-entities are elevated to some higher place than they deserve.

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