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HA. HA.

Hollywood's Least Funny Comics

These guys get no respect, and they deserve it

By Kevin Spak| Posted Nov 16, 09 1:40 PM CST|

(Newser) – You rarely see Carrot Top or Gallagher anymore, but showbiz is still full of guys who just aren’t funny. Sarah Bell of Newsweek points out the worthiest tomato targets:

Larry the Cable Guy: A really, really poor man’s Jeff Foxworthy, minus any actual jokes.
Carlos Mencia: Makes a living mocking mentally handicapped people and “beaners.” Dave Chappelle, he ain’t.

Howie Mandel: Probably funny once, “but it’s hard to preserve your comedic edge when your day job is pretending to use a stupid prop telephone to call a silhouette.”
Dane Cook: He’s spread himself too thin and now seems “more intent on coining fratty catchphrases than honing his talent.”
Jay Leno: He’s charming, and he’s nice, but his show is “profoundly unfunny.” Sometimes we charity laugh, though. “We have to—it’s Uncle Jay.”
Jeff Dunham: Sorry, ventriloquism peaked sometime during the Eisenhower administration.

An actual joke from Mr. The Cable Guy: "I had my girl put on crotchless britches one time. She was like, 'Want some of this right here?' I go, 'No, look what it did to your underbritches over there.'" (AP Photo/Dan Steinberg)

We know you're trying, Jay, but you're too crude for old-timers and too boring for the young. (AP Photo/David Kohl, File)

Dane Cook performs during the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation for Education's Grand Slam for Children benefit concert at Wynn Las Vegas hotel and casino, Saturday, Sept. 26, 2009 in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)

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50 comments

VIEWING:

Stasis
Nov 16, 09 1:45 PM CST

Pretty good list. None of those guys are funny at all. The good comedians always seem to leave this world far too soon... Reply

+11

IN RESPONSE:

ProfessorCold
Nov 16, 09 4:46 PM CST

I found this list to be absolutely perfect. These people, along with Wanda Sykes, are all that is wrong with comedians.

IN RESPONSE:

cochiserocks
Nov 17, 09 4:22 AM CST

You know that the late Mr Hicks will be in a bar somewhere laughing his ass off at the demise of Leno. I read that the two of them came up together but Leno sold out early.

| 0 minutes ago

paul123
Nov 16, 09 1:48 PM CST

I dunno, I kinda like Mencia and LTCG. Reply

-12

IN RESPONSE:

alkaseltzersammich
Nov 16, 09 1:53 PM CST

Really? I think they're pretty unfunny. Jeff Dunham is by far the worst though.

IN RESPONSE:

paul123
Nov 16, 09 2:07 PM CST

Dunham has very very few funny bits. Walter can get a chuckle out of me now and then. Overall, Dunham is pretty lame. Mencia is pretty funny I think. He does some political stuff that is left leaning, I would think you would at least enjoy that? Larry is so stupid he is funny, imho.

IN RESPONSE:

alkaseltzersammich
Nov 16, 09 8:46 PM CST

Lol, you would think since I'm such a lib that I would like Mencia. But I think his abrasive, unintelligent, and annoying. He steals alot of his bits from other comedians to and puts a latin flavor on it. The same goes for George Lopez.

IN RESPONSE:

Fondue
Nov 17, 09 6:32 PM CST

I can't believe Dunham got a show.

| 0 minutes ago

Randerson1725
Nov 16, 09 1:56 PM CST

Dane Cook was funny at first because he was a novelty act...just yelling and making ridiculous motions. I guess I only really found him funny at first because I was still in highschool though... Reply

IN RESPONSE:

Yourself
Nov 16, 09 3:07 PM CST

Dane Cook wasn't funny at all, cause he was/is a rip off of Daniel Tosh.

IN RESPONSE:

davjc09
Nov 16, 09 3:47 PM CST

Dane Cook's lines are a lot funnier when somoene else says them. I'll have friends that quote random comedians from time to time. And the Dane Cook ones are hilarious. Then I watch his standup and am dead silent at the quote I had previously heard.

-1

| 0 minutes ago

gabo
Nov 16, 09 1:59 PM CST

Did Dana Carvey die? How come he isn't on this list? Reply

IN RESPONSE:

waloki
Nov 16, 09 2:05 PM CST

Dana Carvey still kills it onstage

IN RESPONSE:

paul123
Nov 16, 09 2:08 PM CST

his live act is great.

| 0 minutes ago

KahunaOmega122
Nov 16, 09 2:02 PM CST

The only one I disagree with is Jeff Dunham. I think he's pretty funny a lot of the time. He's no George Carlin (not by any stretch), but I don't think he deserves to be called one of the worst (come to think of it, no one should be ranked alongside Dane Cook. That's just mean). Reply

IN RESPONSE:

Cegorach
Nov 16, 09 2:55 PM CST

if you are talking his stage act, i can mostly agree with you, but have you watched Dunham's new show? HORRIBLE!! The show alone earns him his rank along side Cook

IN RESPONSE:

Spydiggity
Nov 16, 09 3:51 PM CST

umm...he's just a racist that says racist stereotypes through puppets so it tricks other racists into thinking they are jokes instead of offensive. there is nothing funny or clever about him.

| 0 minutes ago

jstnanderson
Nov 16, 09 2:10 PM CST

I happen to like Jeff Dunham, but I guess there is no accounting for taste. Reply

-2

IN RESPONSE:

GeminiMishy
Nov 17, 09 9:14 AM CST

Dang alka, you pretty much summed up my entire list, except for Lewis Black. I don't care what anyone says, that guy is funny! Used to like Katt Williams, but he lost it. Swardson is underrated, I hardly know of anyone that has really heard of him, but then they see his acts and laugh out loud.

IN RESPONSE:

GeminiMishy
Nov 17, 09 9:14 AM CST

Grrrr....wrong reply button...

| 0 minutes ago

paul123
Nov 16, 09 2:10 PM CST

How about everyone's FAVORITE comics? I always liked Kineson, Carlin, Cosby to name a few. Reply

IN RESPONSE:

Jes
Nov 16, 09 2:19 PM CST

Carlin always. Mitch Hedberg was good in smaller doses and I really do love Eddy Izzard. Christopher Titus is pretty funny also.

IN RESPONSE:

Sphinx
Nov 16, 09 3:59 PM CST

Louis CK, Chris Rock, Ahmad Ahmad and Bill Hicks... although Bill Hicks is maybe less funny than fascinating.

IN RESPONSE:

It_Smells_Funky.
Nov 16, 09 6:11 PM CST

I'd have to say Dimitri Martin is easily my favorite comic. The guy is so smart and has a great delivery. He's genuinely pleasant. David Cross is great too.

IN RESPONSE:

odowd80
Nov 16, 09 6:34 PM CST

David Cross, Bill Hicks, Doug Stanhope.

IN RESPONSE:

alkaseltzersammich
Nov 16, 09 8:49 PM CST

Dave Chapelle, Mitch Hedberg, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, Patton Oswalt, Christopher Finnegan, and Nick Swardson for me.

IN RESPONSE:

GeminiMishy
Nov 17, 09 9:16 AM CST

Lets try this again...Dang alka, you pretty much summed up my entire list, except for Lewis Black. I don't care what anyone says, that guy is funny! Used to like Katt Williams, but he lost it. Swardson is underrated, I hardly know of anyone that has really heard of him, but then they see his acts and laugh out loud.

IN RESPONSE:

Jes
Nov 17, 09 11:32 AM CST

Louis CK and Lewis Black! I knew I forgot someone. I guess I like the Angry comics lol. CK's show on HBO, Life With Louie was one of the funniest sitcoms I have ever seen. Not really a stand up comic any more, but I like the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson also. His improv/stand up at the beginning isn't always right on the mark but it is enough for me to always flip the tv on as I'm falling asleep.

IN RESPONSE:

stacysaw
Nov 17, 09 8:17 PM CST

take alka's list and replace finnegan with bill burr and hedberg with greg giraldo. then, you have a helluva line-up.

| 0 minutes ago

DarkFrancis
Nov 16, 09 2:24 PM CST

Dane Cook is one of the least funny comics I have seen. Worse, both he and Mencia are 'hacks' i.e. acknowledged joke thieves. Unfortunately, the best ones have to graft and graft, while the anodyne and unoriginal pick up awards...much like Carrot Top winning the top top prize at the American Comedy Awards in 1993 over...Bill Hicks. Reply

IN RESPONSE:

odowd80
Nov 16, 09 6:36 PM CST

Wow, carrot-top won over Bill Hicks? I didn't know that. How sad.

| 0 minutes ago

Forderon
Nov 16, 09 2:28 PM CST

Howie Mandel is neither good nor bad, but this list nailed everyone else. I especially hate Cook and Mencia. Reply

| 0 minutes ago

dewie158
Nov 16, 09 2:42 PM CST

you 100% have to throw Jimmy Fallon on this list Reply

IN RESPONSE:

Cat-Lover
Nov 16, 09 4:26 PM CST

...and Sarah Palin. No kidding. She makes me laugh uncontrollably.

| 0 minutes ago

Jayster999
Nov 16, 09 2:55 PM CST

Paul Mooney is an ass who should be on this list, as should Wanda Sykes. Both of them are "edgy", abrasive racists who want to rant about politics rather than make people laugh. Margaret Cho is absolutely painful to watch. Reply

-3

IN RESPONSE:

Yourself
Nov 16, 09 3:08 PM CST

Margaret Cho is indeed painful. glad we can agree on ONE thing. Wanda Sykes has her moments, but i couldn't imagine watching more then 20 minutes of her.

IN RESPONSE:

stacysaw
Nov 17, 09 8:19 PM CST

i'm going to agree with jayster! wow... kidding! paul mooney is only funny when dave chappelle puts him in a bit. i used to like margaret but she went way, way off the rails.

-1

| 0 minutes ago

WelcomeTo313
Nov 16, 09 3:14 PM CST

No one on this list ever made me laugh. David Cross, Bill Hicks, Patton Oswalt, George Carlin Maria Bamford, Zach Galifinakis, and Neil Hamburger are the only stand up acts I enjoy Reply

| 0 minutes ago

grassisntgreener
Nov 16, 09 3:57 PM CST

For some reason my brother thought Dane Cook was so funny that he sent my a cd.It was awful! I even put it on ebay for 99 cents and nobody bid! (i just wanted it out of my house and figured someone would want it! /wrong) Reply

IN RESPONSE:

Yourself
Nov 16, 09 7:21 PM CST

no one bid not cause he's not worth it, but cause the crowd that likes him just downloads it, big difference! lol

| 0 minutes ago

Cat-Lover
Nov 16, 09 4:17 PM CST

Stand-up comedians: FRED ALLEN, JACK BENNY, MILTON BERLE, RED SKELTON, GEORGE CARLIN, ROBIN WILLIAMS, CHRIS ROCK. Any others? Not to my knowledge. Reply

| 0 minutes ago

Forderon
Nov 16, 09 4:23 PM CST

This is what I don't get: If seemingly the majority of people on the Internet hate Cook, Mencia, and other no talent clowns like Soulja Boy and Tyler Perry, then WHO THE HELL IS BUYING AND WATCHING ALL THEIR SHIT?? Is there some secret army they have that we don't know about? Reply

IN RESPONSE:

WelcomeTo313
Nov 17, 09 7:32 AM CST

Everybody hated the band Creed to but 2 million people bought there CD... So yes maybe there is an army of people that just buy shitty products.

IN RESPONSE:

stacysaw
Nov 17, 09 8:23 PM CST

didn't d cook do a *7 hour* set at some point? holy god can you imagine? so, talk about who the hell is buying shit - who the f**k would sit through that??

| 0 minutes ago

Dr.Lecter
Nov 16, 09 6:01 PM CST

Either way I would be willing to place money on the fact that the comedians mentioned here make quite a bit more money that the person who wrote this article. Overrated or not, they have plenty of fans, and are successful at telling jokes for a living. FML. Reply

| 0 minutes ago

ethan0605
Nov 16, 09 6:14 PM CST

Can't believe you forgot Pauly Shore. Reply

| 0 minutes ago

quincy.mackenzie
Nov 16, 09 7:38 PM CST

I'm still a Jay fan.... to see him perform live at The Magic and Comedy Club in Hermosa Beach without him having to keep his routine "family friendly" is amazing. He left me in awe. Reply

| 0 minutes ago

gorf
Nov 16, 09 10:01 PM CST

Good call on Sykes, she is el-lamo. Reply

| 0 minutes ago

stormy7
Nov 17, 09 9:43 AM CST

Wanda Sykes stand up and her HBO special kick ass. Reply

| 0 minutes ago

tanker
Nov 22, 09 7:50 PM CST

that sykes bitch sucks even more because she took spike ferestens slot, holywood douchbag Reply

-1

| 0 minutes ago

View all 50 comments »

entertainment • television • Deal or No Deal • comedy • stand up comedy • Jay Leno • late night talk show • late night host • Howie Mandel • Dane Cook • Larry the Cable Guy • Carlos Mencia • Jeff Dunham

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entertainment • television • Deal or No Deal • comedy • stand up comedy • Jay Leno • late night talk show • late night host • Howie Mandel • Dane Cook • Larry the Cable Guy • Carlos Mencia • Jeff Dunham

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These guys get no respect, and they deserve it

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