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Hollywood's Least Funny Comics

These guys get no respect, and they deserve it

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Nov 16, 2009 1:40 PM CST

(Newser) – You rarely see Carrot Top or Gallagher anymore, but showbiz is still full of guys who just aren’t funny. Sarah Bell of Newsweek points out the worthiest tomato targets:

  • Larry the Cable Guy: A really, really poor man’s Jeff Foxworthy, minus any actual jokes.
  • Carlos Mencia: Makes a living mocking mentally handicapped people and “beaners.” Dave Chappelle, he ain’t.

  • Howie Mandel: Probably funny once, “but it’s hard to preserve your comedic edge when your day job is pretending to use a stupid prop telephone to call a silhouette.”
  • Dane Cook: He’s spread himself too thin and now seems “more intent on coining fratty catchphrases than honing his talent.”
  • Jay Leno: He’s charming, and he’s nice, but his show is “profoundly unfunny.” Sometimes we charity laugh, though. “We have to—it’s Uncle Jay.”
  • Jeff Dunham: Sorry, ventriloquism peaked sometime during the Eisenhower administration.

An actual joke from Mr. The Cable Guy: I had my girl put on crotchless britches one time. She was like, 'Want some of this right here?' I go, 'No, look what it did to your underbritches over there.'
An actual joke from Mr. The Cable Guy: "I had my girl put on crotchless britches one time. She was like, 'Want some of this right here?' I go, 'No, look what it did to your underbritches over there.'"   (AP Photo/Dan Steinberg)
We know you're trying, Jay, but you're too crude for old-timers and too boring for the young.
We know you're trying, Jay, but you're too crude for old-timers and too boring for the young.   (AP Photo/David Kohl, File)
Dane Cook performs during the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation for Education's Grand Slam for Children benefit concert at Wynn Las Vegas hotel and casino, Saturday, Sept. 26, 2009 in Las Vegas.
Dane Cook performs during the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation for Education's Grand Slam for Children benefit concert at Wynn Las Vegas hotel and casino, Saturday, Sept. 26, 2009 in Las Vegas.   (AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 44 comments
Fondue
Nov 18, 2009 12:32 PM CST
I can't believe Dunham got a show.
stacysaw
Nov 18, 2009 2:23 AM CST
didn't d cook do a *7 hour* set at some point? holy god can you imagine? so, talk about who the hell is buying shit - who the f**k would sit through that??
stacysaw
Nov 18, 2009 2:19 AM CST
i'm going to agree with jayster! wow... kidding! paul mooney is only funny when dave chappelle puts him in a bit. i used to like margaret but she went way, way off the rails.

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