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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2010
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25

6 Reasons Avatar Will Suck

Does anyone else see the Jar Jar Binks similarities?

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(Newser) – James Cameron’s follow-up to the hugely successful Titanic has been eagerly anticipated for more than 10 years—and when Avatar finally arrives, it will be...completely awful. Richard Rushfield explains why for Gawker:

  1. Directors’ dream projects typically fall flat: See: Spielberg’s 1941, Lucas’s The Phantom Menace.
  2. Speaking of The Phantom Menace, note the “distressingly Jar Jar Binks-like aliens” featured in Avatar.

  1. Trailers showcase a few regrettable similarities to the more cringeworthy aspects of Titanic, including “two-fisted ham-handed over-acting” and “a laughable two-dimensional good vs. evil plotline to tie together all the explosions.”
  2. Embarrassing dialogue sample: “Every living thing wants to kill you and eat your eyes for Jujubees.”
  3. Embarrassing character name samples: Colonel Miles Quaritch, Trudy Chacon, Selfridge, Neytiri, Jake Sully.
  4. The blue characters with the cat noses look plain silly.

In this film publicity image released by Twentieth Century Fox, Sam Worthington is shown in a scene from,
In this film publicity image released by Twentieth Century Fox, Sam Worthington is shown in a scene from, "Avatar."   (AP Photo/Twentieth Century Fox)
In this undated photo provided by 20th Century Fox,
In this undated photo provided by 20th Century Fox, "Avatar" director James Cameron is shown on the set of the film.   (AP Photo/20th Century Fox, Mark Fellman)
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YOU try watching the Avatar trailer without feeling the urge to cringe.   (Grab Networks)

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25 comments
VIEWING:
 
Circusdog
Nov 24, 09 9:00 AM CST
Shit blowing up...robots..alien sex...200 million easy! Reply
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+10
IN RESPONSE:
thedude2888
Nov 24, 09 11:11 PM CST
smurf wars!!!!
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+1
Timinator2K
Nov 24, 09 9:04 AM CST
Sucking all the way to the bank. Reply
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+9
Animator
Nov 24, 09 9:11 AM CST
I love smurfs! Reply
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+7
alkaseltzersammich
Nov 24, 09 9:26 AM CST
It seems to me that most critics are film school rejects who are jaded after they got terrible reviews on their shitty silent films they submitted for final projects. At least that's what it sounds like from reading this article. Reply
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+13
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