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A Teen Boy's Guide to Love, Via New Moon

Say weird stuff, have seizures when you kiss, appear dead, etc.

By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff

Posted Nov 26, 2009 11:24 AM CST
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(Newser) – When it came to being cool and hitting it off with girls, Mick LaSalle had it hard as a teen—he had to figure out what width belt to wear and such without the benefit of Twilight as a primer. Herewith, some "empirical data" helpful to 15-year-old boys he gleaned from New Moon and offers in the San Francisco Chronicle:

  • "Keep your compliments outlandish:" "You give me everything by breathing" might seem like an odd, even quizzical thing to say, but it's also tres sexy.

  • Have muscles: Is the Jacob character suddenly interesting to Bella because he's a werewolf? No, no, LaSalle writes. It's "the result of getting seriously pumped up between movies."
  • Have bigger fish to fry: "Edward is worried about death in life, a guarantee of damnation, and the distinct possibility that at any moment he might rip open someone's neck." Being smooth with the ladies is almost an afterthought.
  • Say "I will protect you" a lot: Seems to work.
  • Kiss like you have a medical condition: When Edward kisses Bella, it "looks as if he is about to go into an apoplectic shock." Off-putting? No. Seems to work.
For more, click here.

Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner in The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."   (AP Photo)
Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan in The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon."   (AP Photo)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 6 comments
Zegan
Dec 3, 2009 12:27 PM CST
why is it scary? I was ready to marry him when I was 16, we have lived together since we were 17, and Im getting pregnant in a few months,my life with him is great
sully4411
Nov 28, 2009 3:36 AM CST
you're married at 20? scary..
Zegan
Nov 27, 2009 9:08 AM CST
how many 15yr boys do you that talk like that hahaha I met my husband when we were 15 and it cracks me up to think of him saying that stuff to me at 15, he was still working on looking me in the eyes (not my boobs) when talking to me. hahaha

 
high school • relationship • dating tips • teenager • Twilight • New Moon • The Twilight Saga: New Moon

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