A Field Guide to Tiger Ladies

Long legs, long hair, hard faces and a whiff of trailer park seem to be the distinguishing characteristics of the species known as Tigris amatorius. Hold on a sec ... Tiger Woods' suspected lovers bear a strong resemblance to nearly all the "other women" who make news. The mistresses of powerful men tend to have thin, "slammin' bodies, strangely arched eyebrows, and tough faces that would probably not launch a thousand ships," Janice Min delicately notes in the Daily Beast.

Their occupations—call girl, club hostess or promoter, waitress—make them the ultimate service-industry women. These "pneumatic vessels" are "meant to please and serve the sexual desires and egos of insatiable men," notes Min. "They are, in essence, warm-blooded blow-up dolls." (More Tiger Woods stories.)