All of France is mourning today after 146-year-old giant tortoise lothario Kiki finally kicked the bucket. He succumbed last week to an infection at the Jardin des Plantes in Paris. "We are rather upset to have lost Kiki. He had been here for such a long time that we kind of thought of him as eternal," said a spokesman. "He had a kind of charisma." Kiki's "demonstrative lovemaking" made him a particular favorite of the French public.
He was so driven in his pursuit of females that his grunts could be heard from the other end of the park. "From time to time I even saw him go after a wheelbarrow," said the zoo vet. "You see what we were dealing with. That was one of his characteristics. We all loved him." Kiki's body will be preserved in France's Natural History Museum. Giant tortoises have been know to live as long as 188 years.