Glenn Beck asked a very serious “Christmas question” on his radio show yesterday (complete with Christmas carol playing in the background): “Do you believe Tiger Woods may actually be OJ Simpson?” His incredulous co-host thinks the comparison’s a little shaky—“I think the thing with OJ was the murder, wasn’t it?” he asks—but an undaunted Beck replies, “Well there was a woman taken to the hospital last night at OJ’s—I’m sorry, Tiger Wood’s—house.”
"I'm not saying it was assault or anything else," Beck adds, "but, you know, we're starting to lose control here." Beck suggests a PR strategy for Woods, based on Kobe Bryant's successful rehabilitation: Kobe was accused of rape, so when he turned out to be guilty only of cheating on his wife, everyone forgave him. "He should release a press release that he can later deny: 'My gosh, I tried to poison a woman in my house last night.' " Or say he has El Salvadoran hookers in the basement. Or whatever. Then, when the truth turns out to be less heinous, Tiger looks good.