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Be Like Baucus, Tiger: A Dork

Senator could teach Woods how to survive a sex scandal

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Dec 10, 2009 9:45 AM CST

(Newser) – Tiger Woods clearly needs some advice on dealing with a sex scandal, and Sen. Max Baucus is just the man to set him straight. The gentleman from Montana doesn’t have a scratch on him after the recent revelations about his sex life—that he slept with a staffer and nominated her for a US attorney job without telling anyone they were doing it. His secret? “Call it the Dork Defense,” writes Dana Milbank of the Washington Post.

Baucus “is just too much of a nerd for a sex scandal to stick,” says Milbank. This is a guy who wears wire-rimmed glasses and carries charts with titles like “Distribution of High Cost Insurance Excise Tax.” You can’t imagine him asking his girlfriend, as Tiger allegedly did, to “Send me something very naughty.” His idea of dirty talk probably involves the alternative minimum tax. And so, we forgive him. He seems like a dork in love—and “even dorks deserve a little happiness.”

Senate Finance Committee Chairman Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., looks on before speaking to reporters about health care reform legislation, in this Oct. 15, 2009 file photo taken on Capitol Hill.
Senate Finance Committee Chairman Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., looks on before speaking to reporters about health care reform legislation, in this Oct. 15, 2009 file photo taken on Capitol Hill.   (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak, File)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 7 comments
bewilderbeast
Dec 11, 2009 8:45 AM CST
uh, yeah. PLUS the fact that when Tiger-Cheetah says (well, his people say) come up to my room and its the biggest bling penthouse in town and you KNOW he's gonna have good shit n champagne FREE, you sorta say, . . . . ok. Even if you're hot. Also - there's the brag possibilities later: You'll NEVER guess whose ____ I just ____ . . . OK OK plus the fact that that's what you DO.
davjc09
Dec 10, 2009 9:29 AM CST
He was a dork prior to his billionaire status today. He was nerdy-looking, plus he was a black kid playing golf.... Can you imagine growing up as a black kid having your dad making you play golf instead of basketball or football?
inky
Dec 10, 2009 8:12 AM CST
Tiger's a former dork/ugly duckling. Ever see him as a teenager? Chick repellent on stick legs. That's part of his problem now -- he can't get over all the rejection he must've faced when he was young -- on and off the golf course.
 

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