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John Mayer Gets Dirty With Rolling Stone

Singer offers questionable advice to Tiger Woods, too

By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff

Posted Jan 20, 2010 10:42 AM CST

(Newser) – If there’s one thing John Mayer can be counted on for, it’s fun quotes about masturbation. Yes, he’s back—and discussing Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, even Tiger Woods—in a Rolling Stone article previewed by PopEater. Some of the better, not-appropriate-for-children, quotes:

  • What he wants in a life partner: “The Joshua Tree of vaginas.”
  • What he wants right now: “All I want to do now is fuck the girls I’ve already fucked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them.”
  • On his sexuality: “I’ve never slept with a man. But I get it. I’ve seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women.”

  • On his constant rejection by women: “Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!”
  • On his strange relationship with the paparazzi: “I have not had a woman appear in my dreams sexually without a paparazzi in the dream, too. I can’t even have a wet dream without having to explain to someone who’s grinding on me, ‘We can’t do this right now, because there’s a guy over there taking pictures.’”
  • Advice for Tiger Woods: “If Tiger Woods only knew when to jack off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.”
  • Remembering Jen: “I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life.”

John Mayer is shown on the cover of Rolling Stone.
John Mayer is shown on the cover of Rolling Stone.   (Rolling Stone)
Musician John Mayer performs at the 2009 Z100 Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden in New York on Friday, Dec. 11, 2009.
Musician John Mayer performs at the 2009 Z100 Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden in New York on Friday, Dec. 11, 2009.   (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)
Actress Jennifer Aniston, left, and musician John Mayer arrive at the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday, Feb. 22, 2009, in West Hollywood, Calif.
Actress Jennifer Aniston, left, and musician John Mayer arrive at the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday, Feb. 22, 2009, in West Hollywood, Calif.   (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 12 comments
RacingCowboy
Jan 22, 2010 1:09 AM CST
"The Joshua Tree of Vaginas." Wouldn't the Grand Canyon be a better simile?
ChickenChopper
Jan 21, 2010 5:13 AM CST
this dude is funny shit. he just doesnt give a crap about impressing folks. if you don't like his blunt demeanor, tune him out
ChickenChopper
Jan 21, 2010 5:12 AM CST
its about john mayer, not glenn beck...

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