John Mayer Gets Dirty With Rolling Stone
Singer offers questionable advice to Tiger Woods, too
By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 20, 2010 10:42 AM CST
John Mayer is shown on the cover of Rolling Stone.   (Rolling Stone)
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(Newser) – If there’s one thing John Mayer can be counted on for, it’s fun quotes about masturbation. Yes, he’s back—and discussing Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, even Tiger Woods—in a Rolling Stone article previewed by PopEater. Some of the better, not-appropriate-for-children, quotes:

  • What he wants in a life partner: “The Joshua Tree of vaginas.”
  • What he wants right now: “All I want to do now is fuck the girls I’ve already fucked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them.”
  • On his sexuality: “I’ve never slept with a man. But I get it. I’ve seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women.”

  • On his constant rejection by women: “Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!”
  • On his strange relationship with the paparazzi: “I have not had a woman appear in my dreams sexually without a paparazzi in the dream, too. I can’t even have a wet dream without having to explain to someone who’s grinding on me, ‘We can’t do this right now, because there’s a guy over there taking pictures.’”
  • Advice for Tiger Woods: “If Tiger Woods only knew when to jack off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.”
  • Remembering Jen: “I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life.”

 

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