Any Haitians who feel a lack of L. Ron Hubbard's teachings in their lives are in luck. A 168-seater plane chartered by the Church of Scientology left for Haiti last night carrying medics, and some 80 volunteer ministers who will assist the injured with Scientology techniques and "spiritual first aid," said a statement from the organization. The mission is apparently being funded by Scientologist John Travolta. "I have arranged for a plane to take down some volunteer ministers, supplies and medics," said the actor.
Those techniques include "touch assist"—touching sufferers with one finger near their injury, and partial re-enactment of the trauma. The medical professionals will certainly be welcome, Marina Hyde writes in the Guardian. As for the rest, "nothing should feel more appropriate right now than gadding about Port-au-Prince offering survivors the chance to be hooked up to an e-meter," she scoffs. For more on what other celebs (Sandra Bullock, Taylor Swift) are doing to help, click here.