'Prehab': The New Rehab

Charlie Sheen unknowingly spawned a fantastic new trend
By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff
Posted Feb 24, 2010 8:54 AM CST
In this Sept. 20, 2009, file photo, actor Charlie Sheen, right, and his wife Brooke Mueller arrive at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles.   (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello, file)

(Newser) – Charlie Sheen may not realize it yet, but as soon as he checked into rehab as a “preventative measure,” he became part of the latest, greatest celebrity trend: prehab. Maureen O'Connor details four reasons this is sure to become the next big thing, on Gawker:

  • Career bump, yes; rock bottom, no: “Sometimes you just want the sympathy and attention without first being reduced to sucking dick to score crack rocks, y'know?”

  • Avoid that pesky “admitting you have a problem” step: Deep down you probably realize that starting your morning with several screwdrivers isn't healthy. But if you’re still in the “denial” phase, you can start treatment without admitting a thing!
  • It’s sort of like a vacation: It's a few paparazzi-free weeks "where the maids aren't stealing your used underwear and selling it on eBay. Rehab is great for this, because the 'help' is sworn to secrecy, by law and medical ethics boards.”
  • It doubles as mental health treatment…which you probably need: All one has to do is look to Britney Spears to know why a "mentally addled celeb" might be "wary of the looney bin stigma. For whatever reason, Americans are sometimes more forgiving of addicts than crazies.” So go to prehab instead!

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