Whitney Houston’s comeback tour is a disaster. Her voice is giving out (she blames a bad air conditioning unit), and critics say she’s not even close to regaining her former glory. How can she step it up? Ami Angelowicz offers a 10-step plan, on The Frisky:
- Hire Justin Bieber as the opening act: This one is just plain self-explanatory.
- Utilize costumes, props, and stunts: Perhaps she should try “dropping down from the ceiling in a hot air balloon. Anything to distract from her piss poor vocals.”
- Donate the proceeds to charity: If she turns it from Whitney Houston’s "Singing Badly 2010 Tour” to “Whitney Houston’s ‘We Are The World 2010 Tour,’” fans might forget that “they wasted $200 to hear you sputter.”
- Write a tell-all: Then “release it in mid-tour, and cancel the remaining dates to promote it. You know you’d read it.”
- Lip sync: If all else fails…
For the other five steps, click here