Enough with the sex tapes—seriously. Real Housewife Danielle Staub’s upcoming “75-minute opus” is “just the latest in a genre that wore out its welcome long before Dustin Diamond popularized the Dirty Sanchez,” writes Mary Elizabeth Williams on Salon. “If you're a contestant on Survivor, ever ran for president, or have the name ‘Kardashian,’ we just assume there's a video out there of you making your O face,” and it’s time for a worldwide intervention.
At the very least, “spare us the outrage at how you feel sooooo betrayed, how you have no idea how this could have fallen into the wrong hands,” she continues. “As far as attention-getting ploys go, the sex tape makes going out without your underpants look downright classy.” What? You swear you didn’t distribute the tape yourself? Well, “if you are actually dumb enough to make a sex tape and think it won't get leaked, you are too dumb to ever have sex again.”