The latest National Enquirer has a scoop so big, it’s sure to blow your mind: Richard Simmons is gay! If that doesn't surprise you, perhaps you don't remember that if the fitness guru is gay, he’s still in the closet. A blogger posted the first page of the Enquirer piece, which introduces us to a porn star and hustler who claims to have been Simmons’ secret gay lover in the '80s.
The article includes such TMI details as Simmons’ love for giving oiled-up full-body massages. The alleged kiss-and-tell artist helpfully describes Simmons for those of us who’ve never laid eyes on him: “a lovely guy, but not particularly attractive.”