Thanks to the uncovering of a 2009 police report, you’re about to know more—much more—about Al Gore than you ever wanted to. The report, obtained by KGW, details a Portland masseuse’s allegations of sexual assault at Gore’s hands, beginning with an inappropriately long embrace when she arrived at his hotel room. Things start getting weird when he specifically asks for massage work on his abdomen and inner thigh, but that’s just the beginning.
A possibly-drunk Gore began “moaning, groaning, moving and acting in a very suggestive way” and asking the masseuse to “go lower,” she claims. When she asked him to clarify, he shoved her hand onto his “pubic crest region,” and got angry when she didn’t comply—then changed tactics and pleaded “for release of his second chakra there.” You cannot make this stuff up. To read more—including how she tried to distract Gore with chocolate and the mysterious stains she found on her pants when she got home—click here, or read Gawker’s recap.