LiLo's Rehab 'Satisfaction' for Dad

Plus, check out the maybe-or-maybe-not leaked LiLo song

(NEWSER) - Michael Lohan can always be counted on to bring the class. While defending himself against allegations he doesn’t do enough to help his troubled daughter in an interview with Shepard Smith on Fox News, Lohan dropped the F-bomb: “Don't tell me how much time I spend helping my daughter or going out to eat dinner, or how much time I spend in the f***ing gym.” He went on to melodramatically suggest that Lindsay’s ordeal “could end in death.” More»

She almost had to stay in prison for lack of cash

(NEWSER) - Just about as quickly as she was sent back to jail , Lindsay Lohan was sprung from it —but she almost wasn’t. The broke actress’s bail was set at $300,000, and she “hasn’t earned that sort of money in a long time,” a source tells PopEater . “There was a moment when the family honestly thought Lindsay wasn't going to be released because they didn't have that amount of money available to post bail.” (The source, hilariously, goes on to call the idea of LiLo remaining locked up a “tragedy.”) More»

Ex Samantha Ronson visits troubled starlet in jail

(NEWSER) - If the UK tabs are to be believed, Lindsay Lohan is under 24-hour watch in jail because officials are concerned about scratches on her arms. “They are suitably worried by the marks to confiscate her prison-issue toiletries,” a source tells the Mirror . More from the world of Lohan:

• If nothing else, Lohan’s jail term appears to be bringing her and ex-galpal Samantha Ronson together. Ronson visited for about an hour yesterday, but her only comment to reporters who asked how Lohan is doing was, “How do you think she’s doing?” People reports. Ronson later tweeted, “Song Of The Day: Rolling Stones—Waiting on A Friend.”

Meanwhile, Father of the Year accused of assault

(NEWSER) - The Delusional Quote of the Day comes to us from a source “very close” to Lindsay Lohan, who tells PopEater LiLo will be spending her time in jail writing music…and the resulting album “will definitely get nominated for a Grammy.” For more on her inevitable musical comeback, click here . More from the world o' Lohans:

• Some inmates are “pissy” about Lindsay’s “special treatment,” one recently released woman tells the New York Daily News . There are rumors, denied by the prison, of her own TV and dresser, special food, a private phone, and her own guard.

Processed chicken and Jell-O for dinner...yum!

(NEWSER) - What will life be like for an incarcerated Lindsay Lohan? If she ends up at the Lynwood prison she’s expected to go to—where Paris Hilton spent 23 days—her days will start with a 5am wake-up call of, “Line up for chow! Make your bed! Tuck your shirts in! Hands in your pants! I want my military line with no talking!” a former inmate tells People . More»