Jose Fidelino has a confession: He’s to blame for Al and Tipper Gore’s breakup, all seven of Larry King’s divorces, and the Sandra Bullock-Jesse James split. “No, I am not a 50-something masseuse or a tattoo model with a thing for Nazi outfits,” he writes in Time. “I'm just a gay man who's about to celebrate his second wedding anniversary. Apparently, my marriage is a menace.” If gay marriage endangers the institution of marriage, Fidelino reasons, then he's one big homewrecker.
He’s decided to come clean in the wake of the Prop 8 court ruling, wearing his title “like the Miss California USA tiara that Carrie Prejean wore until someone leaked those eight videos of her touching her pro-opposite-marriage private parts.” But in these divorce-ridden days, marriage-wrecking is too easy: Perhaps it’s time to consider banning ugly people from marrying, and Fidelino thinks he can get 51% to agree with him. "Majority rule should always trump minority rights—activist judges and their equal-protection clause be damned. I mean, what the unattractive do behind closed doors is OK, I guess, but I don't want to have to see it."