Apple held a special event yesterday, rolling out a new iPod Touch, among other things—but there was one problem. “The problem was the singer Steve Jobs invited on afterwards. The problem was Chris Martin,” writes Milo Yiannopoulos in the Telegraph. Apple has long had an “inexplicably close relationship with The Most Boring Band In The World and its simpering windbag frontman,” and it just makes no sense. Next to Apple’s sleek products, Martin looks like, well, what he is: scruffy, uninteresting, and dated.
And why in the world would the Coldplay frontman want to get in bed with Apple? He “never misses an opportunity to slam big, bad old corporate America in favor of … well, name a poor country" (an attitude that Yiannopoulos finds passé). Apple is, after all, “a massive, multinational media corporation that's exercised a stranglehold on multiple markets." Maybe it’s time for Martin to go "back to his organic muesli with his tail between his legs."