Madonna's Phone Hangups Irk Boytoy Jesus

Some, like Speidi and Paris Hilton, are just so obvious

(NEWSER) - Some celebrities should probably never be allowed around a child—let alone allowed to have one of their own. “That means you, Heidi and Spencer,” writes Jen Genova on Babble . The 9 other power couples who should really, really not add to their family units:

1. No matter how adorably in love Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are, it's still creepy "that his step-daughters had major crushes on him."
2. Dear Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry: "We have about oh, zero interest in tuning into a show called My Fair Brady and Baby."

Wait, they were still dating? Yep, but Jesus Luz called it off

(NEWSER) - Though you may have long ago tried to forget that 51-year-old Madonna was dating 23-year-old Jesus Luz, you can now officially forget: It's over. The perhaps surprising part of the news? It was her Brazilian boy toy who called it quits, thanks to their age difference and the fact that they have nothing in common, the Chicago Sun-Times reports, adding that the split was amicable. Whew! More»

Plus, Jesus Luz is still around and Jeremy Piven still isn't over sushi poisoning

(NEWSER) - If Levi Johnston’s goal is to break into Hollywood, he got at least a toe in the door last night: My Life on the D-List star Kathy Griffin brought him along as her date to the Teen Choice Awards, E! reports. “Long-distance relationships are not easy, especially when he's in his igloo and I'm in my Hollywood tower," Griffin said of Bristol Palin’s babydaddy. Elsewhere:

• Sculptor Daniel Edwards has a history of, er, interesting subject matter. Past works have included Britney Spears giving birth, Suri Cruise’s baby poop, and a pregnant Paris Hilton’s autopsy, ABC News reports. His latest: A completely nude Angelina Jolie breastfeeding her twins, meant to raise awareness of public nursing.

Plus, trouble in paradise for Madonna and Jesus

(NEWSER) - Robert Redford married longtime girlfriend Sibylle Szaggars in Germany this weekend, E! reports. The actor and the painter, who met in the early '90s at a Sundance Film Festival event, married in a small private ceremony conducted in Szaggars’ native German, according to a local newspaper. It is the second marriage for Redford, who has three children from his first marriage. Elsewhere: More»

Plus, Amy Winehouse drinks because she's bored, and more

(NEWSER) - Yet another boy toy is denying reports of a romance with Madonna. Jesus Luz told Brazilian TV program Fantastico, “She is my friend, only my friend,” the New York Daily News reports. “I don't have plans of marrying her.” Elsewhere:

• Amy Winehouse has been boozing it up in St Lucia only because she’s been bored, the Sun reports. But, “she came off drugs on her own so I know she’ll stop drinking too much, too,” her mom told Closer magazine.