Alaska and Florida Move to Ban Bestiality

Want to stay off the beaten path? Start here

(NEWSER) - If you’ve seen enough of Old Faithful and the Grand Canyon, CNN has an idea for you: Why not visit another of the country’s 397 national parks and monuments, like one of these seven you’ve probably never heard of?

• Dry Tortugas: You have to seriously want to make it all the way out to one of these seven islands 70 miles west of Key West, which are only accessible by ferry or seaplane. But don’t expect actual dryness: Tropical storms are a regular occurrence.

Poorly worded bestiality ban picked apart

(NEWSER) - Florida lawmakers with a poor grasp of taxonomy appear to have accidentally outlawed all sex in the state, according to the Southern Fried Scientist . The recently passed law banning bestiality outlaws "knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal"—and since humans are technically animals, consenting adults in Florida will soon be banned from having sex unless their act conforms to "certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices," the science blogger writes. More»

Bills go to governor's desk

(NEWSER) - Two bills of note have been sent by Florida lawmakers to the desk of Governor Rick Scott: One makes kids who wear droopy pants at school subject to suspension, and the other makes bestiality a misdemeanor. The latter is the work of a state legislator upset about publicized cases of abuse involving a goat and a horse. As NBCMiami's Brian Hamacher puts it: "Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon." Mediaite calls that the "best. lede. ever." More»

No drunk horseback riding in Colorado, and other weird rules

(NEWSER) - Growlers may be the new hipster trend , but good luck finding one in Alabama. Any beer bottle larger than 16 ounces is banned there, along with "sensuous" wine labels. That's just one of a dozen crazy liquor laws complied by Mother Jones :

• No sunrise mimosas in Alaska: you can't buy booze between 5am and 8am.
• Stay out of the driver's seat and the saddle if you've been imbibing in Colorado, where drunk horseback riding is illegal.

(NEWSER) - A Florida teen charged with killing 19 cats in his Miami community became so excited talking about feline dissection that detectives were convinced he was a sociopath, according to court documents released yesterday. Tyler Weinman, 18, never admitted he killed the cats that were found mutilated in his neighborhood, but eagerly spoke of the appealing "tearing sound" of cat dissection. Police discovered cutting tools in his home and a long cat scratch on his back. He's being held under house arrest as his trial gets underway. More»