31 Things Men Can't Go Without

Things you really need to know about penis jokes and shoes

(NEWSER) - Esquire celebrates all things female in its cleverly named "Women" issue, and it tries to do right by the ladies of the world by telling men all the things they're doing wrong. Straight from the mouth of the fairer species, Esquire collected 1,000 tips—and shares a select 100:

• No. 10: Roses are cliche. When in doubt, go with a bouquet of lilies.
• No. 51: Joking to us about your penis size makes us uncomfortable. Every single time.
• No. 109: "Hey, you awake?" is not a form of foreplay.

Esquire presents a real man's guide to life before death

(NEWSER) - On Esquire's 75th anniversary, the quintessential men's mag recommends 75 things every man should do before he dies. A smattering:

1. Eat wild game you killed, dressed, and cooked yourself.
2. Acknowledge the accomplishments of others
3. Make an omelet
4. Fast for three days, consuming only water
5. Play a game of rugby

Designer Paul Smith dishes on T-shirts and tailor-made suits

(NEWSER) - Natty British designer Paul Smith outlines his do's and don'ts for the 21st-century gentlemen in a cagey Details interview. Cologne lovers, beware:

1. T-shirts seem easy, but they're a big no-no; go with a collar.
2. A good, bland haircut is better than a failed stylish one.
3. Women first! Don't ignore them in favor of a pal at dinner.
4. Dress for the occasion, but chuck the bow tie if no one else is wearing.

Fashion sinners won't burn in hell but may burn with shame

(NEWSER) - Forbes gives fashion-impaired guys a few much-needed tips. Here are 10 fashion sins to be avoided at all costs:

1. Pants that are too long or too short.
2. White socks with dress shoes.
3. Mixing patterns, especially from different color families.
4. Ties that are too long or too short.
5. Stained clothing.