We're Just Pals: Jesus

Some, like Speidi and Paris Hilton, are just so obvious

(NEWSER) - Some celebrities should probably never be allowed around a child—let alone allowed to have one of their own. “That means you, Heidi and Spencer,” writes Jen Genova on Babble . The 9 other power couples who should really, really not add to their family units:

1. No matter how adorably in love Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are, it's still creepy "that his step-daughters had major crushes on him."
2. Dear Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry: "We have about oh, zero interest in tuning into a show called My Fair Brady and Baby."

But sorry, still no word on 'You're So Vain' subject

(NEWSER) - Ever wondered who Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” is really about? Join the club . Fortunately, there are at least nine other songs “secretly” written about someone famous whose identity has since been uncovered. From The Frisky :

• Amy Winehouse: “Me and Mr. Jones” is supposedly about her unrequited love for rapper Nas; it refers to his daughter Destiny and his birthday, Sept. 14.
• Madonna: “Miles Away” was inspired by now-ex-husband Guy Ritchie, she told Elle. She also once dedicated it to the “emotionally retarded.”

Wait, they were still dating? Yep, but Jesus Luz called it off

(NEWSER) - Though you may have long ago tried to forget that 51-year-old Madonna was dating 23-year-old Jesus Luz, you can now officially forget: It's over. The perhaps surprising part of the news? It was her Brazilian boy toy who called it quits, thanks to their age difference and the fact that they have nothing in common, the Chicago Sun-Times reports, adding that the split was amicable. Whew! More»

If it weren't for a certain rapper, Michael would have stolen the show

(NEWSER) - With the exception of Kanye West's inebriated attack on Taylor Swift, last night’s MTV Video Music Awards were all about Michael Jackson, with longtime friend Madonna and sister Janet delivering moving tributes, the Los Angeles Times reports. The Material Girl introduced the tribute, while Janet performed her half of the duet “Scream” as a video of Michael played in the background. Of course, there were also the big winners of the night: More»

Plus, yet more Michael Jackson news

(NEWSER) - Amy Winehouse’s rise to fame and corresponding fall into drugs, alcoholism, and melodramatic relationships would make interesting theater—or at least her brother thinks so, the Sun reports. “I think one day there could be a musical of Amy's life,” he says. “You just don't ever know how far things can go these days—look at all this talk of a Jade Goody musical.” Elsewhere: More»