Cleese Not Laughing About $20M Divorce

Monty Python comedian John Cleese, still bitter, will stage one-man show

(NEWSER) - Hit with a $20 million divorce settlement, John Cleese is taking to the stage for the first time in four years to raise some cash—and have a little fun airing his outrage at the payout to his third wife. A Ludicrous Evening with John Cleese… or How to Finance Your Divorce opens in Oslo tonight, and will continue in the US under the title A Final Wave at the World...or the Alimony Tour Year One, the Mail reports. More»

Plus, credit crunch hits Cleese's divorce, and more

(NEWSER) - Uh-oh. Guy Ritchie showed up with a black eye after a night out in London, the Sun reports. No word on where the mystery shiner came from… could this have anything to do with his less-than-flattering nickname for tough ex-wife Madonna? More gossip:

• The recession has hit celebrity divorces. John Cleese successfully halved his $1.9 million settlement after showing that he’s not worth as much as he was in 2007, the Mail reports.

Madge, Ritchie refute her flack's statement to press about divorce settlement

(NEWSER) - Madonna's mouthpiece is full of it, the singer says. Liz Rosenberg told the AP this week that the Material Girl would give ex-hubby Guy Ritchie up to $92 million in “one of the largest payouts ever in a divorce settlement.” The couple denies the figure, the New York Post reports, and Rosenberg isn't talking. More»

(NEWSER) - Guy Ritchie should have known what he was getting into when he married Madonna, writes Liz Smith in the New York Post. “She was the most famous woman in the world. Did he think that would change?” But Ritchie doesn’t need our pity. As for reports that he gets none of her fortune, "please!” The director will snag about $70 million, says Smith. "Once you taste the really high life, you hold on if you can." More»

(NEWSER) - Guy Ritchie will eschew a fight for the Material Girl's material assets, and instead focus on joint custody of their two sons, the New York Daily News reports, citing a settlement in the works. At issue is where the couple’s children, Rocco and David, will live; Madonna would relocate them to New York. Ritchie could have sued for half of her estimated $450 million. More»