John, Jen Back Together: Tab

It's time to rethink your career choices—and love life

(NEWSER) - Bounty Hunter is well on its way to being a flop, just like Jennifer Aniston’s last two romantic comedies (Management, sigh)—which means it's probably time for a new career direction. “She's aged out, no matter the yoga and the highlights. She just can't do America's sweetheart next door. She needs a big wake-up call,” one film critic tells the New York Post . More»

Singer offers questionable advice to Tiger Woods, too

(NEWSER) - If there’s one thing John Mayer can be counted on for, it’s fun quotes about masturbation. Yes, he’s back—and discussing Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, even Tiger Woods—in a Rolling Stone article previewed by PopEater . Some of the better, not-appropriate-for-children, quotes:

• What he wants in a life partner: “The Joshua Tree of vaginas.”
• What he wants right now: “All I want to do now is fuck the girls I’ve already fucked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them.”
• On his sexuality: “I’ve never slept with a man. But I get it. I’ve seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women.”

Plus, another ex pines over Jen, and more

(NEWSER) - Lindsay Lohan can’t catch a break. First she’s dumped, then her house is broken into—or not. The attempted burglary reported yesterday turned out to be a false alarm, the AP reports. Police said the house was just extremely messy, not ransacked. Elsewhere:

• Jennifer Aniston’s exes are falling all over her. First it was Brad Pitt, now John Mayer, reports the Daily Mail. Mayer’s post-Aniston ex told Heat magazine, “He's been playing guitar alone at night, pining over her.”

Plus, Chelsea Handler disses Angelina Jolie ... again

(NEWSER) - Is Jennifer Aniston determined to get hitched before ex-hubby Brad Pitt? Maybe so, if TMZ is to be believed: Sources tell the gossip site Aniston was in Crete recently, looking at the Elounda Beach Hotel for a possible summer wedding. She specifically mentioned July, hotel sources claim; Aniston's father was born in Crete. Meanwhile, Aniston's loyal buddy Chelsea Handler slammed Angelina Jolie yet again in a More interview picked up by the New York Post . More»

Jennifer Lopez buys Casper Smart a truck, and more

(NEWSER) - While your friends are all giving you $20 gift cards on your birthday, celebrities are giving each other $250,000 cars and entire vineyards. Celebuzz rounds up 18 of the most insane celebrity gifts ever given:

• Jennifer Lopez: J.Lo is the latest, this weekend giving her 25-year-old new boyfriend, backup dancer Casper Smart, a customized white Dodge Ram truck.
• Justin Bieber: He's snagged an electric car that costs more than $100,000 from his manager, a $200,000 Lamborghini Spyder from Diddy, and a Range Rover from Usher. And he can't really drive that well .
• Katy Perry: Bought then-hubby Russell Brand a trip to space for $200,000.