LiLo, Mom to Dad: Shut Up!

Meanwhile, Father of the Year accused of assault

(NEWSER) - The Delusional Quote of the Day comes to us from a source “very close” to Lindsay Lohan, who tells PopEater LiLo will be spending her time in jail writing music…and the resulting album “will definitely get nominated for a Grammy.” For more on her inevitable musical comeback, click here . More from the world o' Lohans:

• Some inmates are “pissy” about Lindsay’s “special treatment,” one recently released woman tells the New York Daily News . There are rumors, denied by the prison, of her own TV and dresser, special food, a private phone, and her own guard.

What not to say to a judge

(NEWSER) - Next time Lindsay Lohan's at a probation hearing, she might want to skip the message on her middle fingernail that says "eff you." The words can be seen in a blown up Getty photo written on the bird-flipping finger of her left hand as she sits at the defendant's table in a Beverly Hills courtroom where she was sentenced to 90 days for blowing off her court ordered alcohol education classes. What can we conclude? That Lindsay's making "bad choices" again, laments Gawker . It appears likely Lohan added the message to her rainbow-hued fingernail polish as she sat doodling in court, notes Gawker. More»

Show is about her 'non-crazy' family. Yeah right.

(NEWSER) - Just when you thought Lindsay Lohan couldn’t possibly sink any lower, she’s heading to…reality TV. To be fair, the show (network TBD) centers on LiLo’s immediate family, but mom Dina assures the New York Post that “Lindsay will appear in some episodes.” But not very many, because “she’s very busy filming and promoting her fashion lines,” Dina insists. One person you won’t see on the show: dad Michael. More»

Kate's involvement with the family gets even weirder

(NEWSER) - It’s easy to see why Dina Lohan is calling her ex-hubby’s recent engagement “incestuous”: Kate Major met Michael through her position as his daughter Lindsay’s assistant. A fellow reporter who worked with Major recalls that she “was once a key member of Lindsay’s entourage,” he writes on PopEater , “serving as a driver, confidant, an all-purpose factotum.” Another mutual friend confirms the connection. And Dina has a lot to say about it (to read Major’s response, click here ). More»

Lindsay had secret romance with Ledger, Dina says in latest Lohan tape

(NEWSER) - The latest from the Lohan Family Circus: Lindsay was having a secret relationship with Heath Ledger when he died, says mom Dina in the latest audio tape released by pop Michael. His death “fucked her up,” Dina says, adding that she’s concerned Lindsay "will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking," Radar reports. More»