Prepare Your Kids for Disappointing Presents

Fantasy gifts for 2011 unveiled in 'Christmas Book'

(NEWSER) - It’s that time of year again: time for Neiman Marcus to say, “Recession? What recession?” and urge you to purchase a $250,000 mahogany speedboat for your beloved this Christmas. Yes, the Christmas Book was unveiled yesterday. To really get into the holiday spirit, read on for the highlights, via AP :

• $1 million: A cool mil will get you a fountain, apparently with water that dances to music, installed in your home.
• $420,000: Private jet tour of European flower shows.

Strong figures early indication of shopping rebound

(NEWSER) - Just how lucrative will this holiday season turn out to be for retailers? If wrapping paper sales are any indication, pretty darn good. Both shop owners and the public are awaiting holiday shopping statistics as a clue to American confidence and an economic rebound. An early sign is wrapping paper sales, which appear to be springing back to 2007 highs, reports the Wall Street Journal . Gift wrap sales totaled $9.36 billion in 2010, a 4% increase over the previous year; some companies are expecting sales to be up as much as 10% this year. The Gift Wrap Company is boosting sales with lower-cost rolls of paper and traditional motifs. "It's the traditional colors, traditional Santa icons and snowmen," said a spokesman. "Those kinds of things never go out of style." More»

Six signs that the holiday season has gotten too impatient

(NEWSER) - It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ... even though we're not yet past Thanksgiving. The Week pores through local papers to find six tales of Christmas coming too early this year:

• It's never too early for eggnog lattes: In Seattle , at least one Starbucks started selling seasonal drinks right after Halloween.
• It could, however, be too early for Christmas trees: In South Dakota , trees were already being sold this week—will they even make it all the way to Christmas?

The Utah Mormon is also a writer of love songs

(NEWSER) - Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch is a prolific author of love songs and Christian spirituals, but it took about 10 years for Jeffrey Goldberg to cajole the “philo-Semite” Mormon into writing a Hanukkah song. Goldberg first floated the idea for “Eight Days of Hanukkah” as an aside in an interview prior to Hatch’s failed presidential bid, and though he thought the candle of inspiration had dimmed, it hadn’t. Last Dec. 23, he was emailed "five verses of a sincerely felt Hanukkah song" that he didn't quite believe came from Hatch. But on Christmas Eve, he got a call. More»

From Santa dildos to boobie ornaments, these gifts are truly disturbing

(NEWSER) - Ah, the holidays: A time for family, a time for eggnog and roasting chestnuts, a time for…reindeer thongs? Simcha Whitehill selects the 21 most disturbing "sexy" gifts on The Frisky —check out a few, above, or click here for the complete list. More»