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NEWS ABOUT: joke

Gary Johnson's Big Joke Keeps Getting Older

'Shovel-ready' line has been on bumper stickers since 2009

(Newser) - He still gets points for delivery, but Gary Johnson's well-received joke at last night's debate—"My neighbor's two dogs have created more shovel-ready jobs than this president"—goes back even further than thought, notes Daily Intel . For starters, Rush Limbaugh used it before the debate... More »

Dalai Lama Pizza Joke Goes Splat

Punchline met by sound of one hand clapping

(Newser) - A goofy Aussie news anchor did not find eternal satisfaction when his lame pizza joke fell flat with a confused Dalai Lama. "So the Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop," begins anchor Karl Stevanovic (confused look from Dalai Lama, who turns to his translator for clarification). "... More »

Glenn Beck to MSNBC: Bend Over

Host gets in dig at the competition's 'lean forward' slogan

(Newser) - The right has been having a field day with MSNBC's new "Lean Forward" campaign, but Glenn Beck got in perhaps the best dig on it yet on his radio show. "By the way, MSNBC, why don't you just make your slogan 'Bend Over?'" he teased, in this clip... More »

Jones Puts Foot in Mouth With Jewish Joke

National security adviser draws fire from conservatives

(Newser) - Jim Jones gave a major speech at a top Middle East think tank last week, but the information he imparted has been drowned out by the kerfluffle over the joke he opened his remarks with—in which a Jewish merchant fleeces a thirsty Taliban fighter. It's tame stuff, and the... More »

Duluth One-Ups Topeka in Google Wars

Minnesota town jokes it will name first-borns 'Google' or 'Googlette'

(Newser) - From this day forth, all-first born children of Duluth, Minnesota, shall be named Google or Googlette Fiber. Well, that’s not true, but the city has produced a parody video saying so in a rejoinder to Topeka. That city changed its name to Google in an effort to secure the... More »

The Worst Pop Music Puns

When humor and music don't harmonize

(Newser) - Hate puns? Consider this stinker from Robbie Williams' latest record: "What's so great about the great depression/Is it a blast for you?/Because it's blas-phe-my." Ouch. Puns are uniformly terrible in pop and rock. NME cobbles together some of the worst pun song titles:
  • Salt N Pepa: "A
... More »

Chavez Supporters Can't Take Moore's Joke

Filmmaker's Jimmy Kimmel interview irks Chavistas

(Newser) - So Michael Moore and Hugo Chavez walk into a hotel, split a bottle and a half of tequila, and ... what's the punchline? There isn't one for Chavistas torqued over the filmmaker's joke to Jimmy Kimmel that the two partied down at the Venice Film Festival, and Moore's claim that he... More »

Palin Ignored Leno's Crack on Bristol

Comic joked that John Edwards was babydaddy; no ruckus

(Newser) - A late-night comic cracking a joke about an adult man getting an underage Palin daughter pregnant? Sounds like perfect fodder for the former vice-presidential candidate's outrage... except there was no outcry, points out Alan Colmes' Liberaland. Back in September, Jay Leno joked that the philandering John Edwards had something to... More »

Washington Can't Take a Joke

Uproar over Sykes' routine shows we take things too literally

(Newser) - Sure, Wanda Sykes’ controversial jokes at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner were “over the top,” and they weren’t all that funny, writes Kathleen Parker in the Washington Post. But the uproar they sparked just shows “we take ourselves far too seriously—and literally.” Sykes... More »

Education Law in Dire Need of New Name

Ridicule of No Child Left Behind prompts search

(Newser) - No Child Left Behind has become “the most negative brand in America,” says a congressman, and new Education Secretary Arne Duncan says it’s time for a new name for the law. Educators and jokesters alike are trying their hand at rebranding, the New York Times reports. Proposals... More »

Jokey Bush Applies for, Turns Down Job

Former prez could have had free parking, discount in greeter gig

(Newser) - George W Bush made a surprise visit to the hardware store that published a job offer for him in a Dallas paper, joking that he was "looking for a job." The owner provided him with a jacket and nametag ("W"), and the former president spent... More »

Etta 'Just Kidding' About Beyoncé Diss

'Big-eared' prez 'might not ever like me,' James laments

(Newser) - Etta James was just trying to be funny when she vowed to whup Beyoncé’s ass for singing "her song" at the inauguration, the Daily News reports. “I've always had that comedian kind of attitude,” James said, insisting she only kept up the insults because her... More »

Dirty Jokes of the Ancients Unearthed

Academics discover 3,000-year-old Sumerian fart joke

(Newser) - Academics studying ancient texts have discovered bawdy jokes that wouldn't be out of place in a Farrelly brothers movie, the Daily Telegraph reports. "What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?" asks a thousand-year-old Anglo-Saxon manuscript.  "... More »

McCain: Skip the Bombs, Send Smokes to Iran

Mac jokes about killing Iranians with cigarettes

(Newser) - Told that cigarette exports to Iran rose tenfold under President Bush’s reign, McCain pondered aloud:“Maybe that's a way of killing 'em." When his wife nudged him, he quickly clarified to Reuters: "I meant that as a joke—as a person who hasn't had a cigarette... More »

Letterman, McCain Trade Comic Riffs

GOP hopeful shows up and gives as good as he gets with Dave

(Newser) - David Letterman had his routine McCain-is-old shtick interrupted today with comebacks from the Arizona senator himself, the New York Times notes. In the Late Show monologue that airs tonight, Letterman fired off comments such as, “He looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys”—... More »

No Last Laugh for Killer

Con drops the jokes and tells witnesses instead: 'I deserve this'

(Newser) - Condemned killer Patrick Knight backed off on his boast that he'd tell a joke before execution, even after receiving over 1300 suggestions for one-liners through mail and a web site. Knight was executed late yesterday for murdering a married couple who lived in the trailer next to his just outside... More »

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