10 Stories

Stoned Man Calls Cops on Dog That 'Shot' Him in Butt

The tale of the phantom gunshot

(Newser) - We suppose many different kinds of injuries inflicted upon one's fleshy backside can feel like a gunshot—especially if that someone is stoned out of his mind and possibly suffering from pot-induced paranoia. That's apparently what happened to a man Thursday in Groesbeck, Texas, who called the cops... More »

Preteen Girl Arrested After Pinching Boy's Butt

'It's just stupid, just a stupid charge'

(Newser) - A 12-year-old girl in Florida is facing misdemeanor battery charges for—of all things—pinching a boy's butt in between classes, WKMG reports. According to WFTV , Breana Evans and her friends "were just pinching random people" at Milwee Middle School to see their reactions. She says it's... More »

Soccer Players Suspended Over 'Ugly' Butt Squeeze

Two Iranian players fined $37K as well

(Newser) - Some rear action has landed cheeky soccer players in trouble with Iranian officials. Two players are being fined $37,000 each and suspended from their Persepolis team for a celebratory "butt squeeze" following a goal against Damash Gilan in a televised game. The "shameless act upset, angered, and... More »

Serial Butt-Slasher Stalking Malls

Slicer won't stop until he's caught, police warn

(Newser) - Young women shopping in northern Virginia malls should watch their butts, police warn. A serial slasher is believed to be responsible for at least five attacks in the region, and cops believe he won't stop slashing until he's caught, the New York Daily News reports. An 18-year-old woman... More »

Pippa Loses 'Rear of the Year' Award

Apparently, it is a 'coveted' honor

(Newser) - SCANDAL: Pippa Middleton, whose butt became famous after the royal wedding, failed to snag the UK’s Rear of the Year Award—and she lost to a 50-year-old. TV presenter Carol Vorderman took home the top booty title after receiving a “deluge” of votes, organizers tell the Daily Express... More »

Forget Push-Up Bras: These Panties Plump Up Your Butt

What's with the newfound love of cushy derrieres?

(Newser) - First the “ butt bra ,” now padded panties: Obviously big booties are the latest trend. Amy Keyishian discovered Booty Pop panties, which are basically “fake butt cheeks,” she writes on Café Mom , “so you can get the Beyoncé effect without all the tasty food.” Yours... More »

Your Butt Crack Needs Some Bling: Entrepreneur

Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield covers the gap low-rise pants leave

(Newser) - Low-rise pants fans, rejoice: The Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield is here to preserve what's left of your modesty. Kimberlily, which makes the bedazzled denim decals, is looking for a publicist, and the company's pitch made its way to the Fashionista blog. The source, clearly uninterested in adding a client, writes,... More »

Meet the Biniki: The Bra for Your Butt

This 'bumkini' can help you achieve J Lo-like perkiness

(Newser) - Wishing you had a butt like JLo’s? Look no further: The Biniki (or “bumkini,” as the Daily Mail nicknames it) can give you a boost. Developed by a psychologist who was depressed with her butt’s sagginess after she lost weight, the Biniki utilizes a belt around... More »

American Apparel Wants Your Butt

Clothing chain launches disturbing search for derriere model

(Newser) - American Apparel’s latest disturbing bid for publicity is ... the search for America’s Next Bottom Model. The clothing chain is asking ladies to submit photos of their booties—clad in, what else, American Apparel products—which will then be rated by, well, everyone who clicks here . Your votes won’... More »

Teacher Fired for Butt Art Paints Colbert for Charity

Stan Murmur's auctioning portrait to benefit Va. public schools

(Newser) - A Virginia teacher fired after a YouTube clip surfaced of him using his posterior to paint is turning the other cheek—and auctioning off a portrait of comedian Stephen Colbert to benefit public schools. Stan Murmur uses what WTVR-TV calls “the anthropometric monotype method of painting. That means he... More »

10 Stories