Beware the Hot Cocoa: 5 Craziest Crimes of Week

A grandmother's criminal hot cocoa and an "ingenious" jailbreak are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

• Behind Grandma's Criminal Charges: Hot Chocolate: What should have been a sweet treat has reportedly resulted in charges for a 77-year-old grandmother in Italy. Three kids and at least two adults—one of whom was the woman herself—got sick after they drank the stuff, which came from a bag that had expired ... and not in the 21st century.
• Woman Poses as Lawyer, Makes Partner at Firm: It's like Suits, just real. A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade, made partner at her small firm, and even served as president of her county bar before her fraud was discovered. Kimberly Kitchen was charged last week with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. Here's how state prosecutors allege Kitchen fooled BMZ Law.

• Most 'Ingenious' Jailbreak Ever?: A smuggled cellphone and an online scheme that even a British judge called "ingenious" allowed a 28-year-old inmate waiting for his fraud trial to escape prison. Using a phone he wasn't supposed to have, Neil Moore created a fake Web domain that resembled that of London's Royal Courts of Justice. Then he sent an email ...
• Guy Calls 911 Over Bar Bill—Repeatedly: Phillip Poissonnier apparently thought $30 for 10 beers was way too much, so after he got kicked out of the bar that presented him with that tab, the Idaho man reportedly called 911 ... 12 times over the course of an hour. He also allegedly hurled the ultimate insult at the dispatcher.
• Note to Couples: Share Your Salsa: Before hogging the snacks, consider this: Phyllis Jefferson of Ohio is accused of stabbing boyfriend Ronnie Buckner because he was "eating all of the salsa" the two were sharing. The description of the incident, which allegedly included two different stabbing instruments, sounds absolutely chaotic.

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