Monica Lewinsky sat for more than 20 hours of interviews to participate in an upcoming docuseries on her involvement with then-President Bill Clinton and the aftermath, and in a new essay for Vanity Fair, she explains why she would choose to relive such a "painful and traumatic" time in her life. "An important part of moving forward is excavating, often painfully, what has gone before," she writes. And that excavation process led her to feel grief, regret, and shame. "Grief for the pain I caused others. Grief for the broken young woman I had been before and during my time in DC, and the shame I still felt around that. Grief for having been betrayed first by someone I thought was my friend, and then by a man I thought had cared for me." But there's someone else she thinks should be feeling some of those same things.
Yes, that would be Bill Clinton, who this year said in an interview that he does not believe he owes Lewinsky a direct apology. "Bill Clinton should want to apologize. I’m less disappointed by him, and more disappointed for him," she writes. She also recalls her own apology back in 1999, the year after the scandal, to Hillary and Chelsea Clinton. That's an apology she would offer again if given the opportunity, she writes. "I would summon up whatever force I needed to again acknowledge to [Hillary Clinton]—sincerely—how very sorry I am. I know I would do this, because I have done it in other difficult situations related to 1998," she writes. "When we are trapped by our inability to evolve, by our inability to empathize humbly and painfully with others, then we remain victims ourselves." Her full piece here. The Clinton Affair premieres on A&E Sunday. (Hillary Clinton recently came under fire for her comments about Lewinsky.)